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Was his voice deeper, huskier, had an edge of longing?
With my blood rushing in my ears, I wasn’t sure. I was crawling out of my skin wanting to know what Tom was thinking.
Would he—no.He may have been in love with me four years ago, but now? He had already rejected my hot mess of a proposition. Just because he had been aroused didn’t mean he wanted me.
“I can’t ask that of you.”
“You can.” He propped up on his elbow again and held my gaze. “Anything, Rosie. You can ask anything.”
“What I want is too much.”
Tom gently cupped my jaw and shook his head. “It’s not. Say it.”
I trembled again and I knew he felt it. It wasn’t fair that he could see my face clearly in the firelight but his was shrouded in the dark.
His thumb rubbed back and forth on my jaw, almost hypnotic. My breathing was ragged. And it was just his damn thumb.
“Will you hold me tonight?”
I could do this. Sleep here beside him. Just for warmth and nothing else.
His thumb stopped moving and for a split second I thought he’d refuse but he smiled. “Yes, Rosie. All night.”
25
ROSIE
Tom’s unsent letters:
Dear Rosie,
Remember the joint birthday party I had was 10? Lily wanted princesses and I wanted, I don’t know, monster trucks, star wars, pirates? Anything I could think of that wasn’t princesses. And dad got us a surprise—he actually knew someone who owned a monster truck and they turned up with it on the back of a flatbed truck. And his wife drove it in a fucking princess outfit.
Lily with all her friends dressed as princesses but you and Amanda wore just normal clothes trying to look cool, starting your goth/emo phase.
And the boys part of the party went nuts and then all the princesses at the girls party went crazy.
And we all wanted rides in the monster truck in the paddock. And we declared it the best party ever at the end of the night.
Do you remember the present you gave me? It was a snow globe that you’d brought back from Italy after you had visited your cousins with your family. It’s the Amalfi Coast, as per the label on the snow globe, not that I have been. You thought it was hilarious because it was the Italian coast and it shows the sea and harbour and all these homes clinging to the cliff painted in different colours and you shake it up and the snow is falling on this coastal town.
I’m looking at it right now as I write this. Looking at it always reminds me of you and how you laughed about snow falling on the Italian coast. I miss your laugh and your lame jokes. Wherever you are I hope you’re happy. I hope any man you’re with makes you laugh, I really do.
Tom
I woke in the middle of the night, panting, momentarily disoriented.
An arm was wrapped around my waist, and it pulled me back against a block of warmth.
“You awake?” he rumbled in my ear. “You were unsettled in your sleep.”
I trembled at how deliciously deep his voice was. How warm I was. How wonderful this all was.
“Just a dream.” I mumbled, biting my lip.Oh, but what a dream.
“Fire’s low. I’ve been meaning to get up and throw some logs on.”
“Am I in your way?” I stiffened. This embrace was just a favour Tom had agreed to. I yawned and stretched. “I can move—”
