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“Oh,” Vylana goes. “I didn’t know.”
Ricardo tells us to stand back as we stand in a huddle, a safe distance from where the baby turtles are hatching.
“Legally, this is as close as we can get.”
I can’t help but notice Vylana is on her tippy toes, with part of her hand clenching Jack’s shoulder.
I thought we’d be friends, but this girl just does not quit.
I remind myself that this is all in my head, and that Jack and I were just making out this morning in our room.
I think it’s just going to be all happy turtle babies hatching, but then Ricardo points out the hawks that will be trying to eat the vulnerable turtles as they make their delicate journey toward the water.
As the baby turtles begin to hatch from their eggs and make their way towards the water, the tension in the air is palpable. Vylana, standing on her tippy toes and clutching onto Jack's shoulder, seems just as nervous as the rest of us.
It's not just the hawks that are causing tension. My thoughts are also consumed with Jack, who I had just been making out with this morning in our room. The memories of our intimate moment are still fresh in my mind, but I try to push them aside and focus on the present.
As we watch, a hawk flies towards the turtles, clearly looking for an easy breakfast. The sight fills me with dread, and I feel a sense of helplessness as I watch the vulnerable turtles scurry towards the water.
Despite the danger posed by the hawks, the turtles continue on their journey, determined to reach the safety of the ocean. It's a heart-wrenching scene, and I feel a deep emotional connection to these tiny creatures and their struggle for survival.
As the turtles finally make it to the water, I let out a sigh of relief and allow myself to fully embrace the sense of awe and wonder that I had been suppressing. It's a truly incredible moment, and one that I will never forget.
A little later, we wrap up camp and get ready to head back for our nine thirty yoga class, Vylana turns to me with a gleam in her eye. "Hey, Amelia. What do you say we go beg Jack to take us for a ride on his private jet this weekend? I bet he's got some amazing places he could take us. I've always wanted to see Bali, or maybe even the Maldives."
“Maybe.”
I feel a pang of guilt in my stomach. Vylana is such a free spirit—and I need to make a decision between Jansen and Jack. I feel like I’m on a dating show.
I just wish I had more time.
The sun is rising behind us, casting a warm glow over the beach. Vylana heads back to the truck while Jack and I stand together. The rest of the group is already heading back to Ricardo's truck.
"You've got to tell him, Amelia," Jack says, his eyes fixed on the horizon. “Are you seriously considering him? You can’t. You can’t marry him. Tell him it’s time to let you go.”
"Why?" I ask, feeling a mix of nerves and determination.
"Because I'm falling for you," he says, his voice soft and sincere. "And not just in the 'own your pussy' way. I want to stop this casual thing we have going on and start something real. I don't want to waste any more time. As hot as it is to fuck you next to some guy who never knew how to love you right…I want you all to myself.”
I grin at his mention of this morning, then hesitate, knowing he's right but feeling unsure of how to move forward.
"Jack, I feel like I barely know anything about you! Aside from yeah, we have amazing sex. But there's more to a relationship than that."
"What else do you want to know? I'll tell you anything.”
I take a deep breath and think for a moment. "Do you have any kids from previous relationships? You just don't seem like the type to have zero baggage."
"No kids from previous relationships, no," he says, swallowing hard. He looks out at the shoreline, where an eagle swoops down but a turtle makes it into the water just in time. "What else?"
I think for a moment.
"I live in the United States!" I say, my voice laced with frustration. "I mean, what are we going to do? Move there?"
"Amelia, I'm not an easy man to love," he says, his eyes locked on mine. "I get that. And for the first time in my life, with you, I feel like I'm comfortable. Attracted. Connected. I've never even thought about having a traditional family before. With you? I could see it. And I could see it being happy. But I can't do this if you're not in it. If there's even a shred of thought in your mind that you could be with Jansen, or anyone else, you need to get the fuck out of my life. Because I'm falling for you. Hell, I already fell. I never expected to fall like this. But with you, I see something deeper. If you want that, let me know. We’ll figure it out. The ball is in your court. But you have to stop coming up with reasons we can’t be together.”
Without waiting for my response, he turns and heads down the path toward the truck. And in that moment, I realize that I do have to tell Jansen it's time to let us go. No more hanging in limbo, no more waiting to make a decision. The time is now.
We ride the truck back and I feel my resolve strengthening. No one else can do this for me. Only I can. It’s my decision alone.
