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I cleared my throat. “I really do love you and I’m sorry I’ve left this so late. I don’t think I can marry you. In fact, I know I shouldn’t. You deserve so much better.”
At first, I didn’t think he’d heard me. His face was impassive, barely blinking.
“Simon? Did you hear me?” My voice wasn’t as calm as I’d hoped.
“I did.” A shadow crossed his face, but it was gone before I could read it clearly. At the side of his mouth, the lines deepened. A muscle in his jaw tightened. I’d seen him in business meetings with millions of dollars riding on the outcome and he never flinched. Other than that momentary change, he was poker-faced. Totally unreadable.
I talked to fill the awkward silence. “We haven’t gone too far. We can call the whole thing off. Seriously. I just don’t belong in your world.”
A single tear rolled down my face and I brushed it away.
“Sweet Sadie.” Simon raised my hand to his lips, kissing it again for the second time in a very few minutes. “I don’t belong most places, but I belong with you. If I had to make a choice between the rest of the world or you, I’d choose you every time.”
“But you’re not going to stop being who you are, are you? You will always be surrounded by these rich, privileged people. I can’t seem to say more than five words to them without blurting out something stupid. I see the contempt in their eyes. I’m always going to be an embarrassment to you. It’s a fact.”
“Don’t worry about what they think. It’s my opinion that matters.”
“But our opinions are shaped by the people around us. If we’re going to see these people socially, they’re going to think less of you for marrying me.”
Simon set his champagne flute on the table. His lips twitched, as if he was fighting a smile. “Let me guess when you started having these doubts.” He tapped his chin with his index finger as if he was concentrating hard. “Did they start about a week ago, maybe the day your mother arrived?”
Without meeting his eyes, I took his outstretched hand. I didn’t trust myself to speak. Things weren’t that simple but, on the other hand, Mom had done a good job of feeding fears about our future.
I breathed in the sandalwood smell of him. His hand was warm and strong as he held mine. With his free hand, he lifted my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “I asked you a question: did you start having second thoughts as a result of your mother’s visit?”
I turned away. “Not entirely,” I said softly.
“What is the bigger picture, then?”
“It’s complicated.” I didn’t trust myself with a longer explanation.
“We need to have a long talk.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the palm. “Maybe we need to start with you over my knee.”
BANISHING DOUBTS
Simon
When Sadie said she couldn’t marry me, my gut tightened. The idea that I might lose her was inconceivable. It was more than that. It was fucking unacceptable.
Quickly my mind sorted through the many influences in our lives over the past month, but particularly over the past week. That brought Cynthia, Sadie’s mom, into clear view. Part of my success in business is the ability to read people accurately and fast. Not that I needed any gift of insight at the message in Cynthia’s eyes at our first meeting.
When I got home the night she arrived, she and Sadie were sitting on the sofa together watching a movie. It was a cozy mother-daughter scene. Sadie leapt to her feet and ran to greet me with open arms.
Cynthia remained on the sofa, fixing a death glare on me. She was a mother bear and I had taken her only cub. If she’d had laser vision, I would have been incinerated on the spot. I decided the only way to win her over would be slowly. She’d decided my intentions with Sadie were evil, and it would take a long time to convince her otherwise.
So when Sadie vocalized doubt over the viability of our marriage only hours after her mother left, it wasn’t much of a surprise. Cynthia had done her worst. Now Sadie and I needed to get back on track.
Sadie
As Simon held my hands, I looked up at him, enjoying the way his pupils dilated simply because we were touching and having an intimate conversation. Knowing I had that effect on him soothed me, despite the threat of a spanking that hung in the air. Or maybe because of it.
I loved it when he went all alpha on me.
Now I admired his strong jawline and full mouth. When Mom said he looked more like a surfer than a business mogul, she was looking for faults. To me that was a virtue, not a shortcoming. He didn’t need a regulation haircut or expensive suit to carry an aura of authority. He always sounded like the voice of reason. Now he wanted to discuss my worries with me over his knee. That was his way of taking control.
For the first time since I’d met him, I truly hesitated, wondering if this would be the time I would say no. I pulled my hands away.
He sat down and emptied the last of the champagne into our glasses. I took as much time drinking mine as possible. I tried to sip each bubble separately, stretching the time out as long as I could.
