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Deep, dark lust.
“I think I’ll stay,” he says, leaning against the doorjamb and crossing his arms.
I very ungracefully climb to my feet, doing my best not to flash him with my top or my bottom, and probably failing at both ends. I put my hands on my hips, seething, so pissed I could scream, but I’m extremely aware that I’m in a closet, alone, with Evander, wearing only a towel.
“Where are my shoes?” I say slowly but firmly, ignoring the fact that he could strip me down and take me if he wanted. “Or do you still think I’m a spy and won’t help me?”
His smirk is infuriating. “You know I have to be careful, asteraki mu.”
“Whatever. I don’t care. All I want to know is where are my shoes?”
“There,” he says, raising an eyebrow, and pointing.
“Notthoseshoes. Where are my sneakers? I had one pair of sneakers, the Nike Air Max III from 1990 in the gray and red and black colorway. Where the hell are they?”
He tilts his head in confusion. “Those old pieces of junk? I had them thrown away. You have plenty of new shoes more fitting for a Don’s wife and—”
My hands ball into fists and I’m breathing hard. Tears spring into my eyes and I don’t want him to see me cry but I’m so angry I can’t think right now.
First, he accuses me of spying for my ex, and now he does this.
Those shoes were all I had left.
Those shoes were the only things of value I owned and the only things I took with me when I left Christopher.
And now he says they’re gone—thrown away like trash.
“Get them back,” I say, blinking rapidly to keep tears from spilling down my cheeks. “I need them back. Right now.”
“Camille. They were garbage. I can buy you a dozen more pairs—”
“You don’t understand.” I approach him slowly. “When I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to get a job. My parents gave me twenty dollars every week as allowance, and you know what I did? I saved it, every single week, for months and months, until one day I found that pair of shoes in a vintage shop. They were more expensive than I could afford, so I saved for another few months, and then I spent every single cent on them even though it was stupid and they’re just shoes. I fell in love with vintage sneakers, and that pair has been with me since I wassixteen years old. They’re all I had when I was with Christopher, and they’re the only things I brought with me when I left him.” I jab a finger at his face, seething with rage. “I am not a spy for anyone. I am not here because I want to hurt you or anyone in your family. I’m here because I want to survive my violent piece of shit ex-husband. And now you threw away the only objects that ever mattered to me.”
He gazes at me for a long moment. If there’s pity or regret in his expression, I don’t see any evidence of it. Instead, he slowly pushes my finger down, lowering it from his face, and takes a slow breath.
“The shoes are gone,” he says.
“Fuck you, Evander.”
“There is nothing I can do,” he says, ignoring me. “If you had told me they held sentimental value—”
“Those are my things!” I say, nearly shouting at him. “You can’t just throw away my things.”
“I can, and I will.” His expression darkens. “You don’t understand where you are yet, Camille. The people here, they’re going to wait for you to make one mistake, to stumble even a little bit, and then they’ll pounce like hungry jackals. How you dress, how you walk, how you eat, how you speak—everything will be judged, and I can’t protect you all the time. I know you aren’t a spy, but even acting like youcouldbe spying might get you killed.”
“I amnotpart of your world,” I say and turn my back on him, crying now, unable to stop it. “I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this. Just leave me alone.”
“Camille—”
“Get thefuckaway from me.” My shoulders shake as the tears roll down my face. I won’t sob, I won’t give him that satisfaction, but I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself. Those shoes were more than shoes—they were a symbol of my independence and a promise to myself.
If I could sacrifice enough to get those shoes, I could do anything.
They were one of the few things I bought with my own money, saved painstakingly over months. I skipped movies, meals, fun with friends, all to get those shoes, and I felt so proud wearing them.
Now they’re gone.
“I’ll let you calm down,” he says and walks away.
