Page 13 of All Her Feelings


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Kieran threw him a warning look to back off, but Holly wasn’t fazed. She deserved that. She had pushed too hard and caused them unnecessary worry and disruption.

“You need to be seen by a healer soon. We need to go to the Fae lands,” Kallan continued.

“They have healers here,” Holly replied, confused. She struggled to a sitting position and Synora helped her get settled among the pillows.

“If it’s because of your Empath magic, you need to be seen by a Fae.” Kallan was firm, but his tone wasn’t harsh. He reminded her of a boulder against the wind, unyielding and steady despite the force battering it.

“Why? Is Empath magic a Fae trait?” Holly had known from the books at the Academy that there were a few witches in history who had possessed the ability. But after the Great War, when the Elven and Fae books disappeared from the shelves, she had been unable to research more.

“No one really knows where the trait originated, but we have had more Empaths in the Fae than other races,” Kieran explained. Holly was grateful at least someone was explaining something to her.

“Here.” Synora reached for a plate on the side table. “Eat this while they talk.”

“What time is it?” Holly asked, accepting the plate of food. She was grateful it was lighter fare—bread, cheese, and fruit. She didn’t think her stomach could handle much more right now.

“Close to lunchtime,” Kieran answered. “We wanted to let you sleep as long as you could. Bethany and the others left early this morning to track down the escaped prisoners.”

“The prisoner, Silas… Did he give us anything after I passed out?” Holly asked around a mouthful of bread.

“Nothing after he said the Dragons provided some key safety measure,” Kallan said.

“So we’ll need to go to the Dragons next,” Holly surmised.

“No. We need to go to the Fae,” Kallan countered.

Holly fought not to roll her eyes, but Synora smiled at the expression on her face. “Yes, fine, we’re going to the Fae, but we can’t get distracted from our duties for too long. We need to find this right-hand person before they can do more harm.”

“And we will,” Kieran interjected before Kallan could reply. “But our priority,” he said, motioning at the three of them, “will always be you first.”

Holly bit her lip as she felt her cheeks heat, and she popped a piece of fruit into her mouth so she could avoid answering. Even her parents hadn’t paid her this much attention when she was sick. Holly didn’t know how to feel about it.

Kieran’s eyes twinkled at her, but he didn’t press her for an answer. “Let’s go let the alphas know,” he said, looking at Kallan.

“I’ll pack the rest of our things,” Synora said, also rising, but not before pressing a kiss to Holly’s forehead.

Holly was sure her cheeks were pink, but she caught Synora’s hand in her own and squeezed it once before letting it go. The small smile Synora gave her was worth it.

Holly had barely finished her plate when they returned, fully packed and with traveling clothes on. Synora helped her out of bed and to the bathroom, but Holly drew a line at letting her inside. She was shaky and probably took longer than necessary to dress, but she needed that moment alone to take deep breaths and pull herself together. She hadn’t had an… episode like that in so long she had forgotten how exhausting it could be. Parts of her felt detached, as if they were still floating in that lake of blackness.

Splashing water on her face, she looked up into the mirror at her pale reflection. “It’s fine, everything’s fine, I feel fine.” She repeated her childhood mantra to herself.

A soft knock sounded at the door. “Everything alright?” Kieran asked softly.

Holly bit her lip to keep her manic chuckle in. Everything was fine. It had to be. They had a job to do. A duty to help Claire rebuild the Realm. They did not have time for Holly’s mental breakdown.

She opened the door and gave Kieran a small smile. “Everything’s fine. I feel fine.”

Kieran didn’t look quite like he believed her, but he extended an arm to her, and she took it, grateful for the support.

They joined the others outside where Synora and Kallan were saying goodbye to Bryson. The alpha nodded his head at Holly and walked away down the path that would lead him back to the wolves’ village.

“Ready?” Kallan asked her. Holly nodded, and they headed toward the official entrance. Passing through the neutral grounds, they walked at a much slower pace than they had yesterday. Holly felt a mixture of gratefulness and guilt as she realized they were doing it for her. She wanted to protest, but she appreciated the slower pace. She still felt a bit light-headed, and Synora kept glancing back at her, concern dancing in her green eyes.

She wasn’t the only one. Holly stumbled slightly over a small root, and suddenly, she was in Kallan’s arms. She opened her mouth to protest, but the look he gave her had her shutting it again. When her mouth shut, he leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Thank you.” Now Holly felt worse that her mates thought she was a brat that couldn’t accept help.

They traveled mainly in silence, and Holly was surprised when the portal dropped them off right outside the Fae lands instead of portaling straight into it. Kieran caught her surprised look. “Lockdown protocol,” he reminded her, and Holly wanted to smack herself for not remembering, although her brain still felt like soup. She made Kieran put her down, however, not wanting to go through the checkpoints being carried. She was supposed to be an Ambassador to the Queen—she didn’t want to look weak.

They traveled through two security checkpoints, each guarded by fierce-looking Fae warriors. Although they nodded respectfully at Kallan and Kieran, they still made them state their full names and intentions while placing their hands on a small orb that looked like stone and metal had been fused together. After Synora, it was Holly’s turn. The orb felt like an icy heat under her hand as she stated her full name and intentions to cross the border and do no harm.

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