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“He calls me Winona most of the time,” Claire said quietly. “And I overheard Greta and Vali talking about how being in stasis for that long might have affected his brain.”
Holly’s heart sank for her friend. She knew how desperate Claire had been to find her family and how devastated she had been when she thought her parents had died. Finding out her father was alive but in stasis had been a shock, but finding out that he might never be fully cognizant…
“Oh, Claire,” Holly said, grabbing her hand and squeezing, trying to find the words to say. “These things take time, right?” At Claire’s nod, she continued. “I know that’s hard, but we’re just going to have to be patient. Only a few weeks ago, the Fae didn’t even think he was going to wake up. Now, he’s awake, even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time. Give it time.”
Claire nodded and swallowed as tears filled her eyes. “I know. I just wish my magic would come back faster. Maybe then I could put more Energy into the Metallicum, and maybe he would wake up faster.”
“I wish I could bring your magic back faster as well.” Holly squeezed her hand. “But I’ll wait with you while it happens.”
Claire squeezed her hand back. “I know you will. You’ve always been by my side.”
Holly smiled at her. “And I always will be.” And she would. That was her role—to be by Claire’s side.
“Anyway,” Claire said, brushing off the painful topic, “tell me what happened. I heard about the shifter from Kallan when he briefed Malcolm, but he said you were sick? Are you feeling better?”
“I am. I pushed myself a bit too hard the other night, but it all worked out.” Holly tried to reassure Claire. She didn’t know what Kallan had shared with Malcolm, and she didn’t want to cause her friend any more stress, especially about something that was normal for Holly.
“I didn’t know using your Empath magic caused you pain,” Claire said quietly. “I mean, I suspected, but you never said anything. Has it always done that?”
Claire’s question was very similar to Vali’s earlier, and Holly gave the same answer. “It has, but it’s not that bad. I’m used to controlling it now.” She left out the part where Vali believed it caused her pain because she had built walls so strong she was unable to feel her own emotions. Until Holly could figure out how to dismantle those walls, there was no point in dwelling on it.
Claire must have sensed Holly didn’t want to talk about the subject any further, so she squeezed her arm gently. “Tell me about your mates, then. I feel like we haven’t had a chance to talk alone since everything happened.”
Holly hesitated. She didn’t really want to talk about this either. Claire tugged them both gently to a stop and placed her other hand on top of Holly’s arm as well. “Please,” she said softly. “You were there for me when I first learned who mine were to me. Let me be here for you?”
Holly let out a slow breath, and the back of her throat burned. She felt oddly emotional. This is why what Vali was saying about not feeling her feelings didn’t make any sense. Holly felt deeply right now, vulnerability and confusion battling at the top of her brain.
“I want them,” she confessed softly, “but I don’t know how to have them.”
“What do you mean?” Claire asked, tugging them off the path and toward a small grove of trees. She pulled Holly down to the ground with her, pressing her knees to Holly’s as Holly gathered her thoughts. Puck leaped from Claire’s shoulder onto one of the tree branches above them and settled in to preen his feathers.
“I’ve never had a… relationship… before.” Holly twisted her hands in her lap. “My papa was strict about appearances and our image in the coven, and he was particular about who I hung out with. I’m sure he would love nothing better than for me to marry some other high-ranking coven-member’s son and pop out perfect children, but he always said he’d never found anyone good enough for me. So, I never dated while I was at Brandlevine, or at the Academy, really. I mean, I’m not a stranger to sex…”
“I’m not judging you,” Claire said, putting a hand on Holly’s knee, “but what do you mean you’re not a stranger to sex if you haven’t dated?”
Holly smiled at her innocent friend. “There are these things called ‘quickies’ or ‘one-night stands.’ I’m surprised Desmond hasn’t corrupted you already,” she teased.
Claire blushed and rolled her eyes. “He’s working on it,” she teased back. Holly pretended to be scandalized.
“Ew, that’s my cousin you’re talking about!”
They collapsed into giggles, but once they regained their composure, Holly continued. “Anyways, as I was saying, I’m not a stranger to sex, but it was always just sex.” Holly hesitated. She hadn’t really told anyone about her first experience with Blanton and why it left her cautious, but this was Claire, her best friend. Maybe she would be able to help her sort out her feelings.
“When I was sixteen,” Holly began softly, “there was this young wizard who apprenticed with Andy for a summer. His name was Blanton, and I had a huge crush on him. He was actually my first, and the first time was good. A bit awkward, but still good. The problem started when we had sex again.”
Holly paused, and Claire squeezed her hand. “With my Empath magic… Well, it can work both ways. I can take in emotions, but I can also influence them. I guess when I orgasmed…” Claire’s face got bright red.
“Sorry,” Claire squeaked. “I know I should be used to it, but I’m still not used to speaking so plainly about it.”
Holly laughed. “It’s okay. Don’t let Desmond know you blush so easily about it, though.”
Claire flushed an even darker shade of red. “Oh, he knows.”
Holly wisely didn’t touch that one and instead continued. “When I orgasmed, I accidentally sent some emotions into him—or heightened ones he was already feeling—and he became a little… obsessed with me. Luckily, Andy had him working hard that summer and the feelings wore off, but since then, I have stuck to one time only with a partner. But with them…”
Claire’s tone was gentle as she finished Holly’s thought. “You’re scared you’re going to cause your mates to become obsessed with you.”
“It sounds silly when you say it out loud.” Holly laughed self-deprecatingly. “But yes? I don’t know. I just want this to work. And obsession isn’t healthy for either person, so I don’t want to trigger that accidentally and have them hate me for it down the line. I just want to get to know them naturally.”
