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“Why can’t Decker do it and you stay here and take the seat? Because you don’t think he can handle it?”
I give her a look that saysdon’t fucking do that.
“I can handle it. You don’t think I can handle it?” Decker looks over at me.
“I didn’t say that.”
“It’s written all over your face, Ranger,” Milly says.
“What the fuck, Ranger?” Decker stands up, clearly pissed. “I can handle it. Does Dad think I can’t handle it?”
“Everyone just calm down.” I plant my hands on the table. “Milly, you’re deflecting. Are you in or out? Enough with thisI don’t know and I need timebullshit. Dad wants an answer and he believes we can come up with one, so I’m saying right now, we aren’t leaving here until we have one.”
“I think you should go to Texas. This whole thing was your idea, and now all of a sudden, you want to uproot everyone else’s life when a year ago you were ready to move there, bags packed. What happened?” Milly stares at me.
Silence settles over the room as I slowly tap my fingers on the table, avoiding their questioning gaze.
“I, uh, Dolly and I . . .” I trail off.
“Yeah, I know about that,” Milly replies as Decker laughs.
“Think we all do after last night.”
“She told us the other day. She was head-over-heels ecstatic, actually. She said—” Milly pauses as she takes in my expression. “Wait, she doesn’t know?”
“Not the specifics.”
“You didn’t tell her you’re probably moving?” Decker stares in disbelief and I shake my head no.
“Oh my God.” Milly stands up, her chair shooting out behind her. “You’re insane, and kind of a complete asshole. She’s in love with you—like, it’s clear as day to everyone, so I know you know that—and you got involved with her and haven’t told her? So, what? You thought you’d guilt us into taking over these roles so you could stay behind and wouldn’t have to face this?” Milly grabs her bag. “That’s beyond messed up, Ranger. She deserves to know.” She walks to the door of the boardroom, her hand on the knob. “Tell her . . . or I will.”
I sulk in silence, Decker sitting across from me, staring.
“You gotta tell her, man.” I nod and he stands up, walking over to me. “Who knows, maybe she’ll go with you, or like you said, maybe Mill will take the seat and you and I can work out a schedule to split our time between here and there. Just don’t give up hope.” He squeezes my shoulder, leaving me alone.
I sit in that room for another hour, trying to think through every possible way this could work, but I can’t figure out a solution. I’m not going to split my time between here and there, asking her to wait for me, and not being around all the time if we have a family. I have to commit to either Texas or her, because I can’t have both.
I walk down the hallway to my dad’s office, knocking on the door as I push it open. “Hey, Dad, got a few minutes?”
“Hey, Ranger, yeah.” He points to the chair in front of his desk as I step inside and take a seat, a huff of air expelling from my lungs as I sit back. “That bad, huh?” my dad says with a chuckle.
“You have no idea,” I say, shaking my head.
“Oh, I think I do. It’s not easy being an adult, son—making tough decisions and having our family name.”
“I know—” I sit back in the chair, considering how to word this. “I know you want us kids to make this decision, and I think we have, but I just want to know your feelings on it. It won’t change my decision, but I want to know what you think is the best decision for the family, the business.” As much as I want to be confident in my decision, I think I’m still looking for an out—a reason to run to Texas so I feel validated.
He steeples his fingers in front of his face, his elbows on his desk as he looks at me. “I think it’s you, son. You had this idea, so you know what needs to be done and how to do it. Do I think Decker could handle it? Yes, but I think you have the stamina and mental fortitude to make the tough decisions should they arise. I think Decker would get there eventually, but he relies on you too much.”
I nod my head slowly, my suspicions confirmed. It’s what I wanted to hear and what I didn’t want to hear at the same time. Part of me wanted him to say that Decker should go, so I could stay here and run back to Dolly, telling her we could have our happily ever after. The other part of me is relieved, because I know I’m so fucked mentally on things with her and Dean, and what it’d mean if I took his place: that I’d be her second choice. Now I have an excuse to run away and not deal with those thoughts.
“Thanks, Dad. I mean it. I always appreciate your wisdom and advice.” I stand up and he chuckles. “What?”
“Just funny to hear you say that now as a grown man. When you were a teen—hell, even before that—you were so headstrong, so damn arrogant and in your own head, that nobody could get through to you. Drove your mother crazy.”
“Yeah, I remember those days.” I smile, wishing him a good evening before heading out to the parking lot.
I turn up the radio on the drive home, trying to make it drown out my thoughts, but it’s no use. When I finally pull down the winding gravel road of the ranch and turn into my driveway, my headlights pass over my porch and I see Dolly sitting in one of the rocking chairs.
