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I dart over to the coffee maker and clean out the old coffee filter with saturated grounds from yesterday, then put a new filter and coffee grounds in. There’s not enough water in the reservoir, so I fill the pot up to the four-cup line, pour it in, and put the pot back. Once that’s done, I press the “brew now” button, and the coffee pot comes to life.
Finally, I take a moment to look down at the screen. My cousin’s baby, Karim, looks better by the day. I don’t know how most people call baby’s cute when they’re newborns. They’re babies, so I guess they’re cute in their own sense, but they all look like baby monkeys to me. Since he’s older now, I see how he’s the perfect combination of Ruslan and Amelia. He has her eyes, and he has his father’s dark hair.
“Oh my goodness, he’s getting so big!” I exclaim, and Amelia laughs, nodding in agreement.
“He is. I think he grows like a weed every single day. I just don’t want him to grow up too fast. I love having a baby,” Amelia pouts a bit, and I wave my hand at her.
“Stop it. One day you’re going to be wishing for the days when he’s walking around with you and talking.”
“You act like that’s a long way away. Another year and he could be doing both of those things,” Amelia points out.
One thing I can say about my cousin is that she’s so happy being a mother. It’s beautiful, really. I don’t know if I’d be the type who’s so in awe of her child. I’d like to think I would be, but I never got to experience that.
When I was fifteen, I got pregnant by my boyfriend at the time. A boy who claimed he “loved” me, but the moment I told him I was pregnant, he ran for the hills. I guess being a dad by the time he turned sixteen wasn’t in his five-year plan. Being a mom at sixteen wasn’t in mine either, and the baby wasn’t something I could’ve financially contributed to. I grew up in a lower-middle-class household, so my parents lived paycheck to paycheck a lot of the time.
I knew then that having my baby stay with me would be a bad decision, not only for me but for my child. I knew the baby wouldn’t be able to go out on vacations once a year or even weekend trips. They would’ve gotten a mediocre education in bumfuck nowhere Alabama, and they would’ve been known as the “teenage whore’s” child. I know what growing up in a small town is like, and I know the subjections they would’ve had to endure. I didn’t want that for my child. I didn’t want that for me, either. All I wanted was to provide for her, so that’s why I gave her up for adoption, privately.
A lot of the time, I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I had kept my daughter with me, but I know it would’ve been a disservice to both of us. She needed parents who werecompletely ready to welcome a bundle of joy into their lives. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that person.
“Anyway, since you’re rushing around the apartment like a madwoman. How’s the internship going?”
The internship at the corporate commercial real estate firm I got while finishing my master’s program. It’s not just a real estate firm since they deal with design and developmental projects as well. “It’s going good. My internship’s going to be coming up soon.”
“Oh, cool. Then you can move to Grozny, huh?” Amelia’s been pressuring me about moving to Grozny for ages now. We’re pretty much the only decent family the two of us have. Her mother’s a hot wreck, and my parents only want to talk to me when I can do something that benefits them. My brother, on the other hand, doesn’t give a shit about me, and as sad as it is, I know it’s true. He doesn’t even wish me a happy birthday.
“Very funny. I’m actually waiting to see if I get a job offer. From what I’ve heard from others, some of the interns get job offers when the end of their internship is coming up. I’m not sure if I’m going to get it, but I’d like to hope I am.”
“You’ve got to be joking, right? You bust your ass for that place every day. I won’t be shocked if they give you a job at all!”
“I’d love to have your optimism, but I’m not trying to get my dreams completely shattered when my hopes get as high as yours are,” I tell Amelia, and she scoffs in the background.
I head for the bedroom and place my phone down on the bed while I get dressed. This way, she and Karim can’t see me. My wardrobe for work is business, and on Friday, we’re allowed to wear business casual. So I throw on a dress and some heels, then grab the phone and go into the bathroom.
I brush my hair and pull it up into a tight ballerina bun, then put make-up on. By the time I’m done, the coffee pot is dinging, telling me it’s ready. Amelia keeps going on and on inthe background, and I have to cut in as I’m filling my to-go cup up with coffee that I have to get on the road. We quickly say our goodbyes, and I rush to the office.
Somehow by the grace of God, I manage to get to the office two minutes ahead of when I’m supposed to be there. I for sure thought today was going to be the first day I showed up late, but I’m glad this isn’t the case.
Most of the day, things go like they typically do. I respond to emails, manage inquiries on the website, and call back potential buyers who have questions about some of our commercial listings. Somehow, I end up working through lunch and eating at my desk, and then it’s hitting four-thirty.
“Emily, would you mind coming into my office for a few minutes?” Michael, my boss, surprises me by suddenly appearing on the other side of my desk. The big wigs here have offices, but all the interns are out in a common area with small cubicle sort of things. We can see right through them, so we don’t have any real privacy.
“Sure, I’ll be there in a moment. I just want to respond back to this inquiry that came through a few minutes ago,” I tell him, and he smiles widely.
“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you in there.” Michael walks away, heading back to his office.
Kim, the man who has a cubicle next to me, cocks an eyebrow. “What’s that about?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I have no idea. I hope I didn’t piss off a client or something,” I finish typing up the email response and click send.
“I highly doubt it. You pay attention to detail and what the clients want,” Kim says, waving me off.
“Well, I’ll let you know once I get out of there,” I tell him and walk off toward Michael’s office. With every step, my nerves take over me. Could I be told I’m being let go once the internship isover? I only have another week left. If I am, I’m going to be so upset. I’ve given every bit of myself to this company to prove that I’m worth keeping.
I knock on Michael’s office door, and he looks up from his computer, then waves me in. I walk inside and head for the chairs, but Michael clears his throat. “Would you mind shutting the door?”
“Sure,” I tell him and turn around, then shut the door. The fact he wants the door closed totally messes with me, and I suck in a deep breath through my nose. Everything is going to be fine. Even if he’s telling me that he’s letting me go, it’s going to be okay. I have my state licensures and passed my exams. I can do whatever I want.
“I’m going to get straight to the point since it’s almost the end of the workday, and your productivity level is exceptional. I don’t want to waste your time when it’s better spent tending to our clients. I, as well as the managers on my team, have seen your dedication and work ethic. I know you’ve probably heard that I occasionally keep some of the yearly interns on, and you’re one that I’d like to keep here.”
