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I rise from my seat and rush out the door, heading straight for Lom’s car. I open the passenger side door and hop in, and sure enough, he’s rushing down the steps right behind me and gets behind the wheel. In a mere few moments, he’s started it up, and we’re driving away from the place where I grew up.
I shake my head as tears slide down my cheeks because I wanted this to go well… but deep down, I knew it never would.
I’m the monster to them, and they’re never going to see me any differently.
Chapter Eighteen
Lom
We both knew the meeting with her parents wasn’t going to go well, but we never anticipated how bad it was actually going to be. Her aunt calling and telling her parents about it didn’t help the situation. I’d like to think that if Emily had had an opportunity to speak to them first, things might have gone better, but the brutal reality is that we don’t know if it would have or not. Honestly, I don’t think it would’ve made a difference. I think they’re bitter, judgmental people who only care about their values. I’d call them selfish because not once did they even consider what Emily would’ve gone through in keeping the child or giving up her child to them. She would’ve constantly felt shame and guilt in front of her face, which wouldn’t have made anything any easier. I guarantee they would be the type of people who would condemn her for furthering her education so she could do better in life, even if they were the ones who made the decision to keep the baby.
We’re both back at her apartment, and while almost everything is packed up or has been packed and awaiting shipment, I know this is the closest thing Emily has to a home right now. She’s sitting on the couch with her heated blanket, and I’m in the kitchen making her some hot chamomile tea to settle her nerves. Whatever she needs right now, I’m going to do. The last thing I want to happen is for Emily to stress about anything, especially after what we just went through at her parents’ house.
Once I finish making her tea, I put a spoonful of sugar in her mug and swirl it around. I take it over to her and plop on the couch beside Emily. She grabs it from my hands and blows onthe steaming liquid. “Tonight was an absolute shitshow. Thank you for driving us all the way out there and back.”
It’s late, but I don’t care. I’d do anything for Emily, and I hope she sees that someday. “I’m glad I was there with you. I would’ve hated it if you went by yourself and had to deal with all of that.”
Emily groans. “I could’ve handled it, but I’m glad you were there with me too. It just… it was so much worse than I imagined. Like, I never thought for one second that my aunt was actually going to call and tell my mother. I figured she was just saying that to make me feel bad. To try and get me to put money in her commissary account… but the more I think about it, the more it doesn’t make sense. She’s dating that cartel guy, right? So, why would she want me to put money in her commissary account? I’m sure he has loads of money.”
Emily’s pointing out something very obvious. I grab onto her legs and throw them over mine. As I speak, I rub my hand along one of her legs. “I’ve thought about that a lot, and I don’t even think she wanted money from you, to be honest. I think she wanted payback, and the only way she could really hurt you was by doing what she did. The only thing she ever had to hold against you was your child because otherwise, you never did anything ‘wrong’. All she wanted was payback.”
“So she was masking it all as blackmail when the reality was all she wanted to do was hurt me.”
“Yes,” I confirm, and Emily closes her eyes tightly. I’m sure she can barely believe that her aunt’s really done this to her, but it’s true. Her aunt’s been a total and complete asshole, and because of her aunt, she’ll never have a decent relationship with her parents ever again.
Emily opens her eyes, and as she does, they’re glossy. She’s trying to hold back tears. “I don’t want to cry over this because it seems so silly. No matter what I did, they wouldn’t have everbeen okay with me having a baby at sixteen. They wouldn’t have ever understood, and them even suggesting that they’d adopt the baby is total crap. They would’ve told me that she was my responsibility, and my punishment would’ve been to keep her. Everything they said is just… bullshit. You know, I love my parents even though they’re awful to me sometimes. They’ve been like that my entire life, and all I’ve ever wanted was their acceptance, but I was always doing something they didn’t like. It could be getting an A- instead of an A+ or something as simple as not following a recipe the way my mom would. It didn’t matter. I was never good enough, no matter how much I tried.”
I swallow hard as Emily speaks from the heart, and she is breaking inside because of what they’ve done. I clear my throat and decide to speak from my heart. “I understand what it is to have a complicated relationship with your parents. My father died when I was younger, so he has the luxury of this not applying to him… but my mother hasn’t been the greatest parent. She chose other people over my siblings and me, mainly my stepfather, and that is an aching wound like no other. Ruslan almost died, and still, she chose my stepfather. My half-siblings even saw her choices for what they were—wrong. In the end, our tumultuous relationship with our mother bonded my sibling group to be stronger than ever.”
“I wish we could have normal relationships with our parents. Ones where they love us unconditionally, kind of like what they’re supposed to do. You know?” Emily softly smiles at the end, but it quickly drifts away. If only life were fair to us both in that regard, but it hasn’t been, and we have no choice other than to deal with the hand we’ve been dealt.
“I wish things were different for us as well,” I confess, and I’m speaking with nothing but honesty.
Emily blows on her tea and takes a sip of it. I’ve never had chamomile tea before, but I know from Eset that it’s good for calming nerves and anxiety. I hope it’s doing just that for Emily.
“I think I’m going to take a hot shower. Then can we just go to bed after?” Emily asks me as she raises her brows. I can see she’s exhausted, and I don’t blame her one bit. Today has been very emotionally tiring for her. In fact, the last twenty-four hours have been.
“Okay, I’ll meet you in there after you’re done.”
Emily finishes her tea over the course of the next few minutes, and then she rises from the couch and heads for the bathroom.
Ludvik’s in the kitchen fixing something to eat for himself, so I get off the couch and head into the kitchen. I need to know if he’s found anything else out, especially after I gave him more information on Emily’s daughter last night.
He’s flipping something over in the frying pan and turns to glance at me before returning his attention back to his cooking. “You need something, boss?”
“Yeah, I wanted to see if you had any updates for me.”
“I do, actually. I wanted to wait until Emily was out of earshot, given the nature of what you’re having me look into.”
“Emily knows everything. I spoke to her last night about it all, but please go on.”
“Okay. I managed to trace all the girls between the age of nine and ten. I have thirty-four hits on those two age groups combined.”
“Her birthday is August 19th, so she’d have to be ten now since we’ve just passed that. How many are ten?” I go over to the fridge and take out a bottle of water. As I twist the cap off, Ludvik answers me.
“Fourteen.”
“Okay, so what do you and your contacts know about Julio and his operation?”
