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“I do see it. I know you have questions, and you just want them answered.”
“Yes, I do, and your situation with Mona is much messier than mine with Amelia. When it came to Amelia, I paid her debts and worked out something with her. But you saw how that ended up.” Ruslan laughs lowly, and I know he’s referring to the fact he fell in love with her. The arrangement they made prior to that didn’t matter anymore. Not after that happened. “Although, there’s a big difference here with Mona, Duarte, and her children. One, he’s their father, and even though he has been physically abusive toward Mona, he is still their father. Two, he’s now become a client of our family, and in doing so, he gave her to you as a cherry on top of the sundae. Three, you want to help get her children back without even considering the grave issues this will cause for our family.”
“Ruslan, I know it’s messy. Trust me, it’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about since this whole thing started. We can’t let them stay there… you know they’ll end up getting hurt just like their mother has.”
Ruslan and I stare at one another for a long minute before he ultimately nods. “Yes, it’s only a matter of time.”
“So,” I prod him, needing more of an answer. I need to know if he’s going to support me in this because I’m not sure if I can do this by myself. “What are you thinking? Duarte forced a miscarriage on Mona, brother. I know I’ve told you this already, but this is the type of man we’re dealing with. One who doesn’t see boundaries and doesn’t care if he crosses them.”
Ruslan clenches his fist on top of his desk and looks right at me. “You know I don’t stand for men hurting women and children. Duarte did both of those with one action,” Ruslan pauses, clenching his jaw in the process. “Answer me honestly, brother, because if we’re going to do this, I need to know what you think about this woman. What is she to you, so please don’t rush your answer.”
I take a deep breath through my nostrils and cross one leg over the other where I sit. I don’t know how to answer the question he’s asking me. I really, really don’t. Maybe I am doing this because I think she’s hot. Maybe I am doing this because I think I was her only choice. At the end of the day, I don’t think my feelings really matter too much, but they matter to my brother. “She’s my type, Ruslan, through and through. I don’t know if anything will ever happen between us, but I do find her beautiful, and I empathize with her situation.” I end it on that note, and Ruslan looks me up and down.
“You’re fucking lying to yourself. If you didn’t want anything with her, you wouldn’t even suggest our family get into an all-out war with the Portuguese mafia because that’s exactly what you’re doing. You could have easily left her there with Duarte, but you didn’t, and I think that says a lot about what you want with her. I know you, Nazyr, and I know you’d never subject your family to any sort of danger unless you felt some way. You don’t have to admit it now, that’s fine, but I think after a while, you’re going to, and I won’t be surprised when that happens. I do want to change the subject, and I hope you’re prepared for it because it won’t be an easy conversation.”
“All right, get along with it,” I speak up, already knowing this isn’t going to be a conversation I’ll enjoy.
“You’ve been acting out of character for weeks now, ever since you found out you’re full-blooded siblings with Lom and me. Eset’s taken the news well, but you haven’t. You’ve done the opposite. You’re lashing out, drinking more, and even avoiding the family sometimes. Talk to me about your struggles, brother, because you don’t have to do this alone.”
I shut my eyes for a moment, never wanting to have this conversation with Ruslan. In my eyes, this is my own bullshit to deal with, and it’s not on him. But I know I don’t have a choice. He wants to talk about it, so we’re going to talk about it.
When I finally open my eyes, I speak honestly. “It’s like my entire life was a lie. Imagine being called one thing your entire life, being raised by the man with that same name, only to find out you were never his. I find there’s a sense of longing, a missing piece of the puzzle inside me that I’ll never truly understand. You remember our father. You had a good few years with him, and I know Lom doesn’t remember much… but me and Eset, we’ll never get that. We’ll never have the opportunity to know what he was like, or the type of people we could’ve been if he was the father we had raising us. I struggle with that, with my sense of identity, I guess. Every single memory I have with Anzor as a child means nothing.”
Ruslan swallows hard, nodding as I speak, and when I finish, he clears his throat. “I can’t imagine the monumental way you feel robbed of a father. Our father was a great man, and I’ll talk to you about him any time I get the opportunity. But you did have a father. He might not have been your birth father, but he still cared about you. He was a shitty man, we both know that, but he believed he was your father, and I’m sure he tried his best to be that for you. I wouldn’t say the same for Eset since all he ever saw her as was a bargaining chip, but I do think he really tried with you, Nazyr.” Ruslan is really being supportive of me right now.
“What was he like? Our father?”
Ruslan smirks. “He was… nothing short of amazing. He had a firm hand that demanded authority yet could be the one who anyone could go to if they needed someone to talk to. Our father truly cared about the Chechen people, even if his reputation didn’t always match up with that fact.”
“I remember, as a boy, I’d hear horror stories about him. I guess those were in his bad moments.”
“I wouldn’t say bad, but they were likely in the moments when he needed to be authoritative. When those stories came to me as a child, I assumed he had good reason for the way he was acting. When I came into power and heard about some of the situations, I knew he was doing the same thing I would’ve done.”
I nod, understanding where my brother is coming from.
“We need to figure out how we’re going to handle the situation with Duarte and how we’re getting Mona’s children back.”
“What are you thinking?” I question him, hoping he has some grand idea.
“I think that we need to figure out how to execute the plan the right way. Give me a few days to think about it, and by then, I might have come up with something decent. There are many factors at play here, and we can’t fuck this up.”
Ruslan isn’t wrong. We need to be careful, and I appreciate he wants to be careful in the first place. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me, brother. If it were one of us, I know you’d be doing the same thing,” Ruslan states, and I rise from my chair.
“I really need to be getting back to the house. I left Emily with Mona, and I’m sure Mona’s uncomfortable.”
“Go on. I’ll chat with you later. Maybe bring her to family dinner? It would be a good opportunity for us to all meet her and for her to see she’s safe with our family.”
I nod, “Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. I’ll see you later,” I tell him and then exit his office.
It’s not long before Paulo and I leave Ruslan’s condo, and as we’re heading down on the elevator, my phone rings. I glance down and see that it’s Eset, but I silence my phone. Today has been draining enough, and I just don’t have the energy to talk to her right now.
Chapter Ten
Mona
Five more days have passed by since Nazyr left me alone with Emily. I ended up having a really lovely time with her, and we actually found a brownie mix to appease her chocolate craving. Her accent is thick and from Southern America, which she referred to as the South when we were speaking.
