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I mean, I do know: I’m Nazyr Umarova.
At first, the changing of my surname was only meant to show unification between my supposed half-brothers, me, and my sister… but now it doesn’t have the same meaning whatsoever. Now it’s real. I am Nazyr Umarova, and facing that reality has been difficult. I feel robbed of the right to even know who my biological father was as a man. At least Ruslan and Lom have some memories of him, but Eset and I were never given the pleasure of meeting him. He was already dead by the time we were born.
There are times when I wonder if my mother would’ve even had Eset or me if he hadn’t died, and as much as I’ve thought about it, I can’t figure it out. Maybe she would’ve. Or maybe we were just more pawns in her constant life game of chess. We know she didn’t have us because she wanted more children. She had us to keep herself relevant and safe.
Anzor might not have known his “children” were of Umarova blood, but our mother sure did, and she had to have done it to keep her own hide safe. She knows how valuable the Umarova family is here in Grozny, and it’s the only reason I can see why she did it. She wanted to keep herself safe for as long as possible. You’d think she’d eventually fear Anzor discovering the truth, but he never did. Even up to the hour of his death, he didn’t have the slightest thought she would’ve done something like this to him.
“Care for another?” the bartender asks me, and I realize I’ve finished my drink.
“Sure, that would be great,” I reply, and he takes my empty glass and then goes over to prepare me a new one.
“Is this seat taken?” a woman with a voice as smooth as butter asks, and I turn to my left. She’s not anything special. She’s your average Chechen woman, but she’ll do. I’m willing to do anything to numb my pain, even if it means burying myself between her thighs later.
“No, it isn’t,” I state, and she smiles brightly while she slides onto the seat.
The bartender comes over, places my drink in front of me, and then looks at the woman. “What can I get you, miss?”
“Raspberry Nastoiki on the rocks, please.” The bartender nods at her, and then she looks over at me. “What’s your poison tonight?”
“The cedar nut Nastoiki.”
“Mmm, I haven’t tried that one. Is it any good?”
“I like it. Care for a sip?” I offer her my drink, and she shoots a cautious gaze at me. “I promise I haven’t slipped anything in it. I haven’t even taken a sip of that one yet. It’s freshly made,” I explain, and she takes the drink from my hand, her delicate fingertips brushing against mine. I can tell she’s the kind of woman who takes care of herself. She probably spends an hour in front of the mirror applying every sort of serum and cream under the sun to keep her skin looking glowing and fresh.
She takes a sip of the drink and licks her lips slowly. “It’s not bad, but it isn’t my cup of tea. I think I’ll stick to the fruity options. Thank you for letting me try it… I don’t believe I’ve caught your name.”
“Nazyr, and yours?”
“Madina.”
“It’s lovely to meet you, Madina,” I say as the bartender places her drink on a napkin in front of her.
She smiles, the same bright way she was a few minutes ago, and takes a sip of her drink. “Ah, that is perfect and just what I needed after my day.”
“It was a rough one, I presume?”
“It’s always a rough one if I’m at a bar at seven on a weekday, Nazyr. It must be for you as well, from the looks of it.” Madina rakes her eyes up and down my body, focusing on my face. It’s like she’s analyzing me, trying to figure me the fuck out.
“I haven’t had a light day in a while.”
“I see. I could say the same. Things have been quite stressful for me lately.” Madina takes another sip of her drink and is quiet for a moment, but then speaks up. “How about we go relieve some of our stress together tonight?”
I’m not an idiot. I catch exactly what she’s throwing my way. “That sounds perfect.”
Madina and I finish our drinks, and then I take her hand and lead her to one of the club’s restrooms. It’s tucked away in the back, making it the perfect location. Not many people come to this one, so I pull her inside and lock the door behind us.
She snakes her hands around my waist and then quickly changes her mind, sliding them up my body. She pulls my neck forward and then kisses me hard. I kiss her back, knowing all too well this fuck is going to be a good old dirty one. It’s exactly what I need, but as soon as she begins pawing at my belt, my phone starts to ring.
I want to ignore it and keep going, but I don’t get the luxury of doing that. It’s not like many people call me in the first place, and there’s a high possibility it could be one of my brothers.
I tear my lips away from Madina, who arches her brows in an annoyed manner. Sure enough, as soon as I see the caller ID, I know I have to answer. “I’m sorry, I have to get this,” I explain, tapping on the green button to accept the call.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“I need you to come by my house as soon as possible. It’s urgent, Nazyr, so get your ass over here as soon as possible. No pussyfooting around tonight.”
“Can I get there in twenty?” I ask him, looking at Madina. After another drink, she looks pretty damn good, but it isn’t like she’s ugly by any means. I just prefer my women to look a bit different than any other woman in Grozny.
