Page 104 of When I Come Home


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Listening to the words she spoke, the strength with which she said them and the wisdom suspended from every syllable, she didn't sound like the Thea I left in New York five months ago.

She sounded older somehow, though not more aged.

More experienced, I guess. Grown. Like she's inherited a maturity she didn't have the last time I saw her.

A charge of emotion swarms through me as my heart tumbles in my chest and my lungs beg for more air. Here she is, the woman I will never stop loving no matter what happens between us, standing in front of me with tear-stained cheeks and wide, worried eyes.

Coming here, I didn't know what I wanted to achieve by seeing her again. I just knew that I had to. And now that I'm here in front of her, the tips of our shoes brushing against each other and those goddamn eyes blinking up into mine, all I feel is sheer, insurmountable relief.

She's here.

She's home.

She'smine.

Regardless of what I said the last time we spoke, it doesn't stop the fact from being true. We may not be together in the official sense, but she still belongs to me just as I belong to her. That’s something that will never change.

“Cole, I—“ she begins.

“It's okay, Thea,” I interrupt her. “You don't have to say anything.”

“No“—she shakes her head—“I do.”

“Okay.” I reach out to run my finger down the bridge of her nose just because I can. Just because she's here and I can finally touch her again.

“You were right, what you said about us not being able to work until I could learn how to trust you. I don't think I really understood at the time what that would look like, ya know? How I could learn to do that when I've spent so many years of my life with such a deep-rooted distrust of men.”

She sucks in a heaving breath, eyes dampening again. “It was never about you, Cole—my lack of trust. In my heart, I've always known how good you are. I've never doubted your love for me, or how much you have always cared. Even when we hated each other—not that we ever truly did—you still looked out for me. You kept me warm with your clothes, found me in the dark and took me home to keep me safe. You have never deserved anything less than my full, unwavering faith and until now, I haven't been able to give it to you.”

Unable to help myself any longer, I wrap my arms around her and crush her to my chest. Her hands find their way to my back, nails digging in through the thin material of my t-shirt. In the overbearing heat of the August sun, our embrace is stiflingly hot. But still, I don't pull back. I don't care about the risk of heat stroke when Thea is finally in my arms again.

She’s the first to break away, stepping back to look up at my face. “I've done a lot of soul-searching these past few months, did everything I could to finally put my demons to rest because I knew that if I didn't, we wouldn't ever have a future together. That was the most terrifying realization and I couldn’t accept it as reality. I just couldn’t.”

When she pauses for breath, I tell her, “I saw the news, baby, and I'm so fucking proud of you.”

“I know.” She smiles, drying her cheeks with the backs of her hands. “I got the flowers you sent. All twenty-two bouquets of them.”

Maybe I went overboard by sending her flowers every single week since we've been apart, but I couldn't bear the thought of her dealing with the emotional fallout of our breakup, the photo scandal and then later the court trial without some token of my support. It didn't matter that I'd pulled back from the relationship. I still wanted to be there for her any way I could.

With a chuckle, I tell her, “Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've singlehandedly sold out all the flowers in LA.”

She laughs, full and genuine. “Well, I appreciate it anyway. They were all beautiful.”

“I'd have been there myself if I could.”

“I know. But I also know why you couldn't, and I get it. Really, I do. You did the right thing. I think I needed the threat of losing you forever to get me to see that I couldn't keep living the way that I was.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I really mean it.”

She smiles, all sweet and hopeful and so fucking irresistible that I almost cut her off with my kiss before she's finished. But I know how important this is for us, how much she needs to say what she's trying to and how much I need to hear it. But god, if it ain't hard not to grab her and crash my lips to hers.

“And it worked, Cole. I think…“ She pauses to gather herself. “I think I might finally be the woman you deserve.”

“Princess, you've always been that woman for me. It was never about you not being enough. It was only ever about you not trusting me.”

“I know, but I still mean what I said. You deserve my complete and utter faith in you, Cole and now, I think I'm finally able to give it to you.”

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