Page 75 of When I Come Home


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I suck in a sharp breath. I guess it's too loud, because the woman turns to look over her shoulder at me with the smuggest expression I've ever seen on a person.

It's India.

“Thea.” Cole says my name, loudly and alarmed.

“Shit, sorry,” I bluster, bumping my hip into the doorframe I'm standing in as I turn and stumble from the room. “I didn't mean to interrupt.”

“Thea!” Cole calls my name again, but I don't look back.I don't want him to see the glassiness in my eyes and the devastation on my face.

I'm almost to the front door when fingers wrap around my wrist, stopping me from leaving. “Thea, please, it's not what you think.”

“It's fine, Cole,” I say, trying to seem unaffected, but the break in my voice betrays me.

“No, it's not.” He groans in frustration as I try to wrench my arm from his grip, tightening his hold on me. Not enough to hurt, but enough to ensure I can't break away. “Fuck, just hear me out.”

“You don't owe me an explanation,” I whisper, finally chancing a look at him. “You're a single man. You can do what you want.”

I watch in confusion as something in his gaze collapses, a light flickering out. Disappointment falls like an autumn mist across his face and he nods once as if confirming something in his mind. “That's how it is, huh?”

“I'll let myself out.” The irksome sound of India's voice tinkles victoriously as she rises onto her tiptoes to press her lips to Cole's cheek. She's still half-naked and I avert my eyes, unable to watch her touch him. “This was fun. I'll call you.”

Then, she picks up a trench coat from the floor that I hadn't noticed on my way in and pulls it over her shoulders, securing it loosely at the front. It leaves most of her body still on display, but I guess she doesn't care.

Maybe Cole likes that about her.

Finally, the door bangs shut behind her and Cole and I are left alone.

Neither of us say anything. My gaze is fixed to a place on the far wall where the wallpaper is peeling, his to the side of my face. I can feel the heat of it on my skin, but one look into his eyes will shatter me. I know it. So, I just keep staring at the wall.

It's taking everything in me to hold it together.

And I know I have no reason to be upset. We're not in a relationship. He owes me no loyalty. Each time he's tried to talk to me about what we are to one another, I've shut the conversation down. Not because I don't know what I want, but because I know I can't have it.

I want him.

I want his heart all to myself. I want his body to only belong to me. I want him to crave my nearness as much as I crave his.

Most of all, I want a world where we can be together.

But the thought that it'll never be possible for us has scared me too much to talk about it. Maybe then, this situation is my fault. He tried and I blew him off. The blame is on me.

“Are you ready to listen to me now?” he asks, voice low and severe.

A single tear rolls unbidden down my cheek and I slap it away. “You really don't need to explain. It's none of my business.”

He curses and I watch out of the corner of my eye as he clutches his face with one hand, fingers digging tightly into his temples. “So help me god, Thea. Hear me out and stop drawing your own fucking conclusions.”

“I'm not—“

“Shut up,” he cuts me off, whirling on me. In a breath, he's got me pressed up against the wall, caging me in with his hands on either side of my head. It's not a position meant to intimidate me. It's just one that bring us close and ensures I can't make a run for it. “And don't you dare say another word about how it's 'none of your business' or that 'I'm a single man, so it’s okay.'“

He pauses to suck in a long, steadying breath, his eyes closing briefly as he works to stay calm. My fingers twitch with the need to smooth out the pained lines on his face, but I don't let myself touch him—not after what I've just seen, even if he can offer a believable explanation for it.

“I haven't been a single man since the second you arrived back in town, so it sure as fuck is your business if I'm sticking my dick in another woman. I don't give a shit if all we did was fight. The reason I was so angry with you was because I still cared. Ineverstopped caring, you understand? All this time, it's been you, Thea.You. And now I've finally got you back and you're here in my home and sleeping in my bed. Do you seriously think I'd throw it all away for one quick fuck with my ex?”

“I don't know what to think,” I admit. Another tear slips down my cheek and he catches it with his thumb.

“Believe me,” he pleads. “Trust me that I wouldn't touch her. That I wouldn't touch anyone other than you.”

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