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Lots of therapy, probably, and it would likely take years to fully untangle all of it.
Alex didn’t have years to make things work with Elizabeth. She didn’t even know if she had weeks.
Not for the first time, she wondered if she’d gotten herself in over her head.
Alex’s brain wanted to stay up the rest of the night ruminating on just how badly she had fucked up with kissing Elizabeth, but her body was ceding to the gentle rhythm of Elizabeth’s breath beside her.
She reluctantly drifted off, and this time, she slept without nightmares.
5
Elizabeth
Elizabeth stayed until Alex’s breathing evened out, and then stayed for a further half hour, just to be extra sure that she was really asleep and would stay sleep. Alex deserved a good night’s rest, and Elizabeth wanted to be here if she was going to wake up and struggle to fall asleep again.
Alex, however, seemed to be deeply asleep, so Elizabeth eventually left and went back to her own bed.
Alex had fallen asleep relatively quickly, but for Elizabeth, sleep didn’t come easily. She couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. It had been so long since she had kissed anyone. She had had a second when she knew Alex was going to kiss her where she could have pulled away, but she hadn’t, she had let the kiss happen, she had wanted it more than anything in that second and she had most certainly returned it.
It had been perfect; the ideal mixture of sweet and hot. She wished they could have kissed for hours, but of course, that would be a bad idea. Alex was right to pull back when she did.
Elizabeth wondered if it would have been better for Alex never to have kissed her at all, but she found that she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. It had certainly made things more complicated between them, but Elizabeth could never want a reality in which she hadn’t experienced that kiss.
Alex was a pain in her ass and a very difficult bodyguard to work with, certainly, but she was also fiercely attractive particularly when she got all protective over Elizabeth.
Elizabeth wondered how it might have been if things were different. If her career didn’t require her to live in secret and she could date openly. If Alex wasn’t her bodyguard and the sister of Elizabeth’s assistant. If Alex wasn’t twenty years younger than her.
Maybe they would have kissed for longer, then. Maybe their hands would have wandered and—
Nope. Elizabeth wasnotgoing there.
She sighed and turned over in bed, willing sleep to come. Sleep evaded her, and eventually, she got up and padded over to her desk. If she was going to be awake, she may as well get some work done.
Her intentions were good, but in the end, she just ended up staring at the screen, thinking.
Was Alex right? Was Elizabeth being foolish by insisting on public appearances?
She thought she understood a little better now why Alex was so overprotective. Having her whole unit die around her was bound to have long-lasting effects on her. Elizabeth still didn’t like it, but it was slightly less infuriating now that she knew some of the reasons behind it.
She sighed as she looked over her schedule. Would it be possible to do these appearances online? She would spare Alex some worry that way, and it would certainly be safer, especially once the new security measures were put in place around the house. It was a possibility, though not one she entirely liked.
People wanted to see the politicians representing them in person. It just wasn’t the same to watch a YouTube video of them, but the attempt on her life certainly gave precedent.
By the time morning came, Elizabeth was exhausted, but she’d worked full days on less sleep in the days leading up to elections when things got really crazy. She padded through to Alex’s room and knocked on the door before poking her head in.
Alex looked adorable when she slept, and Elizabeth wanted to leave her to her rest, but she knew that she’d get a stern telling-off if she did, so she stepped in close and shook Alex’s shoulder.
“Alex. It’s morning. Do you want to sleep in some more?”
Alex came awake quickly. “No, I’m alright.” She sat up, looking Elizabeth up and down. “You didn’t sleep, did you?”
“No, I didn’t,” Elizabeth admitted.
Alex groaned. “I’m so sorry, Lizzy. I never meant for my nonsense to interfere with your rest.”
“Alex, you have PTSD from serving your country. That’s hardly nonsense. Besides, it’s not like the night was a waste. I used the time to get some work done.”
“Great,” Alex muttered. “I’m sure that’s a wonderful substitute for proper rest.”
