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No, it wasn’t possible. They couldn’t be dead. They were her family, as much her siblings as James.
“No. You’re wrong. They’re strong—stronger than I am. They can pull through.”
“I’m so sorry, Alex, but the bomb was too powerful. It’s a miracle you survived.”
“That’s not—I can’t—you—”
“Alex, calm down. Try to breathe slowly for me. Alex—
Alex broke out of the flashback with a gasp. She realized that she was on the floor with her back against the wall. She quickly stood up, wiping sweat off her face with her sleeve, thanking her lucky stars that Elizabeth still seemed to be getting dressed.
The last thing she needed was to have Elizabeth witness something like this on her very first day. They were going to be working closely together, which meant it was inevitable that Elizabeth would witness some of this kind of stuff, but Alex hoped to at least have a chance to prove her skill as a bodyguard before that happened.
She took several deep breaths and tried to remind herself of what the VA therapist had told her. It was in the past, and while the emotions she was feeling were real, the events weren’t happening to her all over again. That was just her mind playing a cruel trick on her.
Alex had seen the therapist three times before it had been decided that she was well enough to manage on her own. She didn’t like it, but she understood. The VA was completely overrun, and Alex wasn’t a danger to herself or others. They had to prioritize who they spent their time on.
Once she got her first paycheck, she would start investigating a private therapist. She knew that it was possible to get over PTSD. Part of her insisted that she would never get over the deaths of her unit, but Alex refused to let herself give in to that part.
If she allowed herself to become hopeless and despondent, she would wither away, and her unit would have died for nothing. She knew that if they were here, they would kick her butt right now. They would tell her to live her life for all of them, to do all the things they couldn’t do.
Alex straightened her back and squared her shoulders. She was going to keep Elizabeth safe, whether Elizabeth liked it or not.
No one else was dying on her watch.
3
Elizabeth
Elizabeth had hoped that the hot shower would help calm her down, but it only seemed to have fanned the fumes of her rage.
How dare Alex march in here and act like she was in charge of Elizabeth? Elizabeth had worked her ass off to get to where she was, and she wasn’t about to let some thirty-something tell her what to do.
Alex might know more about her than security matters, but she couldn’t possibly know more than Elizabeth about politics. Elizabeth would concede that she saw the security benefits of staying home until the police caught whoever had shot at her, but those benefits were far outweighed by the damage it would do to her career.
How would it look if Elizabeth vanished from the public eye so soon after her bill had been passed? She could release a statement explaining why, of course, but no statement would replace her presence in the eyes of her voters. They may understand it logically, but people didn’t vote with logic. They voted with their hearts as much as their heads, and it was their hearts Elizabeth needed to appeal to.
Elections were coming up next year, and she couldn’t afford to lose any of the momentum she had gained. Alex just didn’t understand. Elizabeth was serving her country every bit as much as Alex had been when she was in the marines. Their jobs may be wildly different, but Elizabeth suspected that their motivations were much the same.
It was mid-morning, and if she wanted to keep her sleep schedule on track, Elizabeth would stay up, but she was exhausted from staying up all night waiting to hear news of James’ surgery and couldn’t resist the lure of her bed.
She sent out a message in her staff WhatsApp group telling them to take the next two days off and take care of themselves. Everyone was shaken after what had happened to James and they would all need some time to recover.
Elizabeth got changed into her pajamas and took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with Alex. She was too tired to deal with that right now. They could argue some more when they were both better rested.
She poked her head out of the door, to find Alex standing guard.
“Alex, I’m going to have a nap. You should get some rest, too. You must be as exhausted as I am. Once we wake up, I’m thinking we can go visit James in the hospital, if the doctors say he’s well enough for visitors.”
Alex’s smile was rather strained, but Elizabeth appreciated that it was there. “That would be great. Thanks, Elizabeth.”
“If we’re going to be working together, you should call me Lizzy. That’s what all my close acquaintances call me.”
“Thanks, Lizzy.”
Elizabeth flopped into bed and was asleep almost at once.
She woke several hours later, feeling disoriented but at least not like she was the walking dead. She tiptoed to Alex’s room to find Alex still fast asleep.
