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“You’re welcome.”
I waited until we were out of Goldsboro, gathering all my courage to say what was on my mind. “I need to tell you something.”
He flicked me a glance I couldn’t read, and turned his gaze back to the highway. I took that as permission. Taking a deep breath, I blurted it out. “I was wrong to say what I said.”
“About what?”
“About you being reckless and leaving others to clean up your mess. And I’m really sorry. Really, really, sorry.”
“I see.”
Hmm, not quite the reaction I was expecting. The next few miles flashed by and he didn’t say anything else. Should I apologize some more? No hardship, I was genuinely sorry. The hurt in his eyes when my words hit home still haunted me.
Finally, he spoke. “You weren’t wrong.” His voice was so low I barely caught it.
“Dante—”
“Don’t argue with me. You were right. I am reckless and wild and barely consider the consequences of anything. It’s part of me, like a genetic disorder, I guess.” He gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. “It’s exactly why I don’t want to be a father.”
I frowned. That made absolutely zero sense to me. Everything I knew about Dante up to this point told the opposite story. He’d definitelybeenwild and reckless in his youth, there was no question of that. But he had matured since then, to the point that there was barely a glimmer of the old Dante in the man sitting next to me. It hurt me even more to think that my words had made him feel that way, and there didn’t seem to be anything I could do or say to convince him that he was wrong. Fuck.
More miles went by. I ate the pretzels and drank some juice. Dante kept his eyes on the road. The silence gave me plenty of time alone with my thoughts. “It was why I left Richard, you know.”
“What was?”
“Do you remember when I said he and I wanted different things in life?”
“Yeah.”
“This was the different thing. Children. I wanted them, he didn’t. I didn’t even need to have them right away, but I wanted his assurance that they were in our future. He was unable to give me that. So I walked.”
“Fair enough.”
“And that’s why there’s no way I can get rid of this baby.”
“I get it.”
“But it’s a weird situation for both of us. We’re both victims of circumstances.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly.
“I understand that you have your reasons for not wanting this and I accept that it’s your choice, as much as I hope you’ll accept it’s mine to keep the baby.”
“Okay.”
“I’ve given it a lot of thought. I feel confident that I can do this on my own. I’m financially stable, I can work from home. My family are around to support me. Long story short, you’re off the hook, if that worries you at all.”
He shifted in his seat, not looking at me. “Good to know.”
Fuck, this was awkward. Not sure what else I could say or do, I grabbed an apple from the bag and munched on it. We were about forty-five minutes out of Esperance when I decided it was time for the next big talk. “I’m not sure what to tell my family.”
“I’ve been thinking about that, too.”
“You got any answers?”
He shot me a half smile, the first I’d seen on him for hours. “Obviously, it’s up to you. They’re your family. But I’m assuming you’re not thrilled to say we got hitched for the insurance benefits?”
“Um, no, I don’t think I want to do that.” It would be the simplest solution, because it was the truth. The problem I had was that it was so mercenary. My parents had married for love and that love had sustained them for nearly four decades. Here I was, with a quickie marriage I didn’t expect to last a year, with another failed marriage already behind me. It definitely felt better to pretend it was a love match, I guess.
