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He stared at me for another long moment, then without a word, turned and walked out of the room again. Weirdo. I turned my gaze back to the window.
“Alright, Eeyore, I’ve got an idea.” Dante walked in, grinning at me and holding out the boots we’d bought in Seattle.
“What the fuck? I’m not going hiking.”
“Yes, you are. Well, not heavy-duty hiking, obviously.” He sat down on the couch next to me and pulled my feet into his lap, loosening the laces of one boot and sliding it onto my foot. “You’re feeling crappy, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Annoyed that you don’t feel up to doing the stuff you normally do because you’re too tired?”
I stared at him. “Yes. I hate being this tired.”
“Okay. So we’re gonna go for a little walk, so you can see that you can still do what you love to do.” Sliding the second boot on my other foot, he tied the laces, then reached out, cupping my cheek in his hand. “Once this pregnancy is done and our baby is born, you’ll be able to do everything just like you used to. You’ll be back to being Superwoman. But for today, we’ll settle for a little walk in the park.” He pushed my feet gently from his lap and stood up, reaching down to help me to my feet.
Holy fuck. Did he even realize what he’d just said?Our baby.Wordlessly, I let him pull me up, following him out to the entrance hall and taking my coat when he handed it to me.Our baby.He’d never, not once, referred to the baby asours.I watched him carefully as he opened the car door for me, going around to the driver’s side, smiling at me as he started the engine. “River or lake?”
Had he not even noticed? Was it some unconscious thought, just a meaningless slip of the tongue? Oh fuck, was I just reading way too much into it, the way I always read too much into things? Projecting a ridiculous, futile hope onto one tiny word?
“Um, the riverside park might be a bit slippery, with the paths the way they are.”
“Okay, we’ll go to the lake.”
We got to the park that edged Esperance Lake, parking at the top so the first part of our walk was downhill. Dante linked his fingers through mine and we headed down the trail. My mind was whirling. I couldn't order my thoughts enough to make conversation, and since Dante didn’t seem inclined to chat either we walked in silence. It was eerily quiet, the only sound the creaking of the trees under the weight of the heavy January snow.
The track ended at a kiosk that come summer would sell tickets for paddle boats and kayaks. Our breath misted in the cold, crisp air and I found it surprisingly invigorating. Dante had been right: the walk was doing me wonders.
Our baby.Should I bring it up? Ask him if he’d meant it? Or assume it was a slip of the tongue? I felt like I had to know one way or the other, but if I asked him outright and ithadjust been a slip of the tongue, that would make things weird. Just the fact that I’d noticed it and mentioned it would mean I’d thought something of it when it was nothing. Hoo boy, I was absolutely overthinking it. As usual.
Maybe I could try and get him to say it again by working the baby back into the conversation. Hmm, yeah, that could work. How to do it and make it sound natural, though? “So, I’ve, uh, been thinking…”
“Yeah?”
Shit. “Yeah, um, I’ve been thinking about…taking up knitting.”What the fuck?
“Okay, that’s random.”
Damn straight! It’s random to me, too.“Yeah, I was thinking it might be nice to make some things myself for…our baby. What do you think?” I flicked him a look, only to find him frowning at me, a little bewildered.
“Sounds great.”
“Yeah, I thought so.”
“Cool. You wanna cross here, or head back?” he asked, gesturing to the wooden footbridge that crossed the lake.
I bit my lip. Did I want to drag out this bizarre conversation, in agonies over the meaning of one simple word? No, it was too fucking exhausting. “Head back. Thanks for the walk, though. You were right, I do feel better.”
Smiling, he pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Good.”
When we pulled into the drive at my place a few minutes later, we saw Stef standing on the porch, a shopping bag in one hand and her phone in the other. “Oh, good. I’ve tried your phone three times. I was just about to give up.”
“Sorry, we went for a walk and I left it in the car, then forgot to check it.”
“No problem. I thought I’d make you guys dinner.” She held up the grocery bag.
“Nice!” I smiled, stepping onto the porch.
“Let’s hope so!” She moved out of the way so I could put the key in the door. “I was watching this cooking channel at the hotel last night, ’cos I was bored out of my mind, and this chick was making pulled pork sandwiches with coleslaw. I thought, fuck, that looks good, I need to try it. I figured asking the hotel to use their kitchen wasn’t an option, so here I am.”
