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“I know you’re trying to protect them, I get that. But the way you reacted wasn’t good. You know what the press is going to say about you now, and none of it will be positive. I tried to pull you back from that, so you didn’t make a fool of yourself, but you were an asshole.”
He purses his lips together, trying to keep his words inside. I know I might have overstepped a little, by calling him an asshole, but he really was in that moment. I’m not the sort of person who’s going to sit back and say nothing. I won’t be walked all over.
“The press need to know that they can’t interfere with every aspect of my life,” he returns with a measured tone. “They can’t get in the middle of my charity work. I only want them around when I create an opportunity, otherwise it isn’t fair.”
“I don’t think it works like that, Remy. I don’t think you get to be in control of everything.”
I don’t care how much he doesn’t like this, how much he doesn’t want to hear it, he has to. Just because Remy doesn’t respond, doesn’t mean I regret what I say. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have said it. If he wants to be in a shitty mood, then so be it. As long as he gets me home, I don’t care. This wonderful day has been turned on its head in an instant.
Neither of us even bother to say goodbye as I get out of the car. This argument hasn’t even really escalated into anything, but it’s created more than enough tension, so we don’t have to speak. It doesn’t feel like it’s the end of everything as he drives away, but something has shifted. Something has fundamentally changed and shifted between us, which is really sad.
I run inside because I can’t hold back my emotions anymore. The tears are absolutely streaming down my face because I’m heartbroken. I feel shattered inside. It’s actually a relief as I run headfirst into Megan. Thank God my friend is here, I need someone to talk to.
“Oh God, Zoe, what the hell happened? Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not.” I sniff hard and shake my head. “I’m really not okay.”
She takes me to the couch, and we sit together, with her arms around me, enveloping me in her warmth. Because she’s being so kind to me, I let way too much of the truth to shine free.
“It’s Remy, Megan. It’s messy. I didn’t mean for it to get messy, but it has…”
“Uh oh.” Her tone turns stern as she picks up on what I’m trying to say here. “By messy do you mean the act you put on for the media isn’t an act anymore? Because it was starting to look a little too real to me, but I didn’t think that would actually happen. What with Freddie and everything…”
The mention of my brother causes me to howl with pain. I have avoided thinking about Freddie as much as I can because it’s bad enough as it is. I don’t know what he will say about all of this. I don’t want him to ever find out, but I can’t imagine it remaining a secret forever.
“So, what exactly has been happening?” Meghan demands. “Because you haven’t said everything. I need to know specifics? I need to know what’s happening so I can give you the advice you need. Because it could be anything, you know?”
I suck in a couple of deep breaths before I finally spill the beans about it all. “This has happened before,” I admit. “Six years ago, before I went to London. Remy and I ended up in bed together after I had a crush on him for years. But it was obviously never going to be athingthen. I didn’t need to panic about anyone finding out because it was never going to become anything.”
“Shit, I didn’t know that. I never would have encouraged things if I knew…”
“I shouldn’t have gone along with it. You don’t need to panic, this is my fault.” I sigh heavily. “Then the fake relationship just got blurry right away. We couldn’t seem to stop ourselves from hooking up all the time. But what I didn’t realize is that my heart has been on the line the whole time. I’ve been developing feelings the entire time, and now…”
“Oh God, have you told him?” Megan gasps in panic. “What did he say?”
“No, I didn’t tell him. I don’t think I need to. We just argued about other stuff, and it hit me…”
My heart breaks all over again. Because our amazing date ended in such a shitty way, and I have a horrible feeling that he might not come back for me. It didn’t feel like goodbye when I sent him away, but it does now. Now I think that wasitfor us. That actually was the ending moment.
“We argued and now I think he’s gone for good. I think that’s the end of it. I think it’s over. He just kinda drove off without saying anything, and now… now it’s all lost.”
Not just Remy, but Wyatt too. His mother might be pleased since she clearly doesn’t like me, but I have enjoyed getting to know Wyatt. He’s a really good kid. I’ll miss him.
Megan doesn’t say anything for a beat too long, but I can almost see the cogs ticking around in my best friend’s brain as she tries to process what’s been going on with me. Maybe I should have kept her in the mix the whole time. I wouldn’t be feeling so alone now.
“Maybe that’s for the best,” she finally tells me softly. “Because it would get messy with Freddie, wouldn’t it? You know he would hate to see you and Remy become real. Especially since he kinda pushed you together with the whole fake fiancée plot. So, for it to come crashing down without him finding out the truth… it might be a blessing in disguise.”
I try to make an agreeable sound because she’s probably right. While I don’t feel this way right now, I’m sure this is for the best. Even if it crushes me.
“And to think…” Megan continues in a teasing tone. “You were worried about your morals not so long ago. Worried about being nude in a movie. Turns out you’re not so unsure about getting naked anymore, am I right? That went flying out the window.”
I know she isn’t saying that to hurt me, she’s just joking and trying to lighten the atmosphere, but those words dig deep like daggers. It’s actually painful to be stabbed in such a way when I’m already bleeding out on the floor. I’ve messed everything up, haven’t I? Absolutely everything. What the hell is wrong with me?
I’ve screwed up my career more than I thought possible. Getting mixed up with Remy might have been the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I haven’t even gotten my feet in the bottom rung of the New York City ladder yet, and I might already be falling. Tumbling with no way to catch myself, all because I’m really out of control.
Oh God, what am I going to do?
Chapter 14
