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"I think you should let go of her if you can't man up to face her," Darlington suggested, and Jasper's calm face morphed into a frown.
"Thanks for your advice, Darlington, but I'll pass," Jasper said in a way that everyone could tell that his patience with the guy was thinning out at a fast pace.
"The fact that you could change your previous attitude because of the feeling of guilt and love for her, I advise that you take it slow and apologize to her wholeheartedly. It'll take a while for her to forgive you, and when she doesn't return your love, please don't force her; take it as your punishment for the crime you committed," Clifford advised seriously, and the other four nodded in agreement.
"I wouldn't be surprised if your sudden change of decision in handling the company is also related to her," Melissa said with a humming sound.
Their remarks and questions continued until Jasper felt he had heard enough for the day.
"I would love to be alone if you all don't mind," he requested, and it became dead silent as they all kept quiet, looking at him to know if he was serious about what he said.
"Are you…?"
"I said I want to be alone. Now!" he demanded, and after looking at him for a few seconds, which seemed more like hours to Jasper as he was getting impatient, they began to leave one after another, each leaving a consoling or annoying comment behind.
When he was finally alone in the space he needed, he grabbed the bottle of wine close to him, bringing it directly to his mouth as he took huge gulps from it, not minding the after-effect of it.
"I'm sorry, Jane Frank, I really am," he said as the tears he had been holding back poured out freely from his eyes.
Sobbing like a kid, he fell from the chair to the floor, placing his hand on his chest as if to rip it out and remove the huge feeling of guilt he was feeling.
"I regret my actions, all of them, Jane. I'm a changed person now; please believe me," he pleaded with a painful shout as if talking to Jane.
He kept on crying in a loud voice as if doing that would lessen the feeling he had. He only stopped to take a huge gulp from the bottle of alcoholic wine, which began to affect him. He felt lightheaded, as if standing up would make him fly high up to the sky.
"I was disgusted with myself from the very first day, Jane." His now rough voice came in as a whisper, and the memories of that night flooded in.
Chapter 12:Confused
After coming down from his high, Jasper looked down at the weak girl sobbing because of him. Without warning, his heart grew heavy, making his erect penis turn flaccid. With a frown, he subconsciously wanted to reach out to tell her to stop crying, but the memory of his deed stopped him.
She continued sobbing, and with every sob that escaped her lips, his heart grew heavier and larger, as if it was going to explode into tiny fragments. 'This isn't supposed to happen, is it?' he thought to himself, feeling uncomfortable that he was suddenly having compassion for the person he was supposed to treat as trash.
"I hate you," he heard her say in a barely audible voice, and his heart reacted strangely; he felt bad hearing that from her. 'It seems I’m going crazy now,' he thought as tears threatened to escape his eyes.
When he could not stand the sound of her cries anymore, he left the room to go to the bathroom. Walking back and forth inside, he tried to calm himself down and not feel disgusted by his actions.
"Alright, it could have been anyone. I will compensate her because she was a virgin before now. Whatever I feel right now is because I enjoyed the chase. I only feel this way because she intrigued me as the only person who wasn’t blinded by my wealth and looks. Nonsense, it can't possibly be love because I would rather remain single than be with someone from a lower class," Jasper muttered to himself, countering any point his conscience would bring.
At this point, he felt like his mind and thoughts didn't belong to him anymore, and had the power to make decisions of their own. One would pity him in this state, thinking he had gone insane. "Calm down and take a bath," he told himself, having the fear that he would suddenly find his legs moving toward the naked girl and his hands moving on their own to care for her.
Cringing at that thought, he walked towards the bathtub. After a long bath, he came out only to be greeted with silence. Putting on the main bulb, a bright light illuminated the room, making everything clear to him, and he wished he could turn back the hands of time to a few seconds ago. He was sure he would have walked out instead.
The clear sight of the bloodied bed, the naked girl tied to the bed with strong ropes, marks on her skin, dried tears on her face, and mucus from her nose reminded Jasper of the grievous sin he had committed. He wasn't one to regret an action, but now he did regret this action of his and many more before now.
It was at that moment that he noticed he liked the girl even before the incident but didn’t want to accept it because of his pride. Still lost in his thoughts of regret, what he feared earlier happened as his legs moved towards her before he could tell, and his hands swung into action by untying her bound hands and legs. Before he could think about the possibility of her waking up to see him in this miserable state, he found himself in the bathroom, bathing her. Sighing, he surrendered to the overwhelming feeling in order not to get confused.
All through the bath and change of clothes, she only stirred in between but didn't open her eyes, which he blessed the heavens for. Looking at the bedspread which he was supposed to change, he recoiled, not wanting to have anything to do with it. But then his busy mind wasn't having any of it as he ended up changing it, with goosebumps lining his skin. When everything was done, he placed the sleeping girl on the bed and was about to leave when he suddenly paused his steps. Coming back to her, he looked closely at her face, studying her facial features before leaning in to steal a kiss from her.
“I guess I’ll have to stay for the night,” he murmured languidly and laid back on the bed close to her. Just when he was about to catch some sleep, she snuggled up to him as if finding a comfortable place to sleep, which she did, chasing away the tiniest amount of sleep from him. Soon, natural light peeped into the room from the space between the curtains.
Knowing she would be awake any moment from that time, Jasper carefully unhooked her hands which were bound around him, and got off the bed towards the bathroom. When he came back, he noticed that she was awake. Feeling relieved that she didn’t wake up to see him lying on the same bed as her, he warned himself to keep up with the nonchalant façade.
"Finally awake?" he asked and watched her turn in his direction with anger written all over her face.
"What would you love to eat?" he asked after a moment of awkward silence, trying so hard to mask the feeling of guilt and regret.
"If you're not hungry, then I suggest you find your way out of this room," he told her after seeing her look at him as if she was trying to catch the real feeling beneath his guise.
