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I just smile, nodding as she turns to walk up the gangway. I follow a second or two later, watching as she slips into Albert’s beat up old Chevy. Taillights bathe me in red as it pulls away.
With her.
With my muse.
With a piece of my heart I didn’t even know I still had, and damn well know I’m not thrilled about losing.
When they’re out of sight, I glance at my boat. Then over to the Clam Shack. Maybe someday—soon, ideally—this is a demon I’ll walk away from.
But it sure as fuck isn’t going to be today.
I walk directly into the bar, with every intention of drinking until I can’t think of her face anymore.
But something tells me, it’s going to be a very, very long night.
29
Melody
Everything hurts.
It’s something I’ve groaned to myself a couple dozen times over the last few days. But those times, it was through a hazy smile, my entire body still tingling with orgasm. And usually still wrapped in Jackson’s arms.
This time, it carries more weight. This time, I really, really mean it.
Everythinghurts.
My body, yes. I’m still bruised and roughened in places no one really ever wants to be bruised or tender in. But at least that part of the hurt has the memory of ecstasy and bliss attached to it.
It’s the hurt in my chest—in my heart—that truly almost brings me to my knees.
But right now, it’s also the hurt that comes with walking away from opportunity. Even if, ultimately, I’m actually not even sure it’s the “big break” I ever really wanted. Maybe it really was all about Judy, after all. Maybe trying to land this thing with Ignition really was just about proving something to myself.
Which, if that’s the case, I failed at. Seeing as the whole reason I even got the assignment was because I blurted out Judy’s fucking name.
But it doesn’t matter. All I know is, this ride is over.
It’s late. Chuck glares at me across the desk, his shoulders slumping as I nod.
“I’m sure.”
He sighs heavily.
“Well…fuck, Mel.”
“I’m really sorry, Chuck.”
“I mean, a fuckin’ week up there, andnothing? I though you said you found him!”
I smile and shake my head sadly.
“Most of that was just getting stuck up there with that storm. I really,reallythought it was him, though. I mean I had a local source who swore it was, and this guy even kind of looked like Havoc. But…” I shake my head. “It wasn’t him, Chuck.”
He blows air through his lips, sinking back in his chair.
“Shit. And with your mom’s new fuckin’ book coming out, this would have been gold.”
I don’t say anything as my lips twist.
