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“How’d you get the money, Finn?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Finn—"
“I got this, Lunatic. I always got you.”
Curled around the waterlilies is a dragon, and I smile when I realize it’s Smaug fromThe Hobbit, which we used to take turns reading to each other in the group home. Soaring up through the lilies themselves is a Phoenix with intricately-drawn flames and wings spread wide.
That was us—one day, we’d rise from the ashes.
There’s more, too. The half-moon pendant hanging from a chain that was our mother’s and was in that first big house of ours before we had to leave. The Fool tarot card—that’s Finn.
And across the top, surrounded by gorgeous filagree and more flowers, is the exquisitely-lettered phrase “What does not kill you”.
“What doesn’t kill you, right, Lunatic?”
“What doesn’t kill you…what?”
“Makes you stronger. I think that’s how it goes.”
“Right. Or leaves you crippled.”
“Nah. What doesn’t kill you makes you, you.”
“Weird?”
“Better. Unafraid.”
“I like that.”
When I start to cry, Sister Angela squeezes my hand tightly before releasing it as Cillian scoops me into his arms, taking the sketch book from me.
“Thank you very much, Sister.”
* * *
Weirdly,I’m doing better when we stop in front of the plain white stone with “Finn Smith” etched in it in black, along with his two dates beneath it. Maybe it’s because I’ve already cried all my tears back in Sister Angela’s office. Or maybe it’s because actually seeing my brother’s grave makes me realize he’s finally at peace.
Cillian’s brought the flowers from the car. I smile, nodding as I take them and lay them on the grave.
“There’s this, too,” he says quietly. “If you want to.”
This time, he’s holding a black permanent marker. When I frown quizzically, he nods his chin at the stone.
“If you wanted to fix the last name.”
I smile and take the pen. Kneeling, I cross out “Smith” and write “O’Conor” above it.
That’sourname. Not that monster’s.
When I stand, my hand slips into Cillian’s.
“Thank you.”
* * *
We’re just gettinginto Cillian’s car when one of the front ground-floor windows to Hope House opens, and Sister Angela sticks her head out of her office.
