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“When Teagan started to pull away from me, I knew it wouldn’t end well. I just didn’t want to believe it. I kept telling myself it was normal; we’d been together forever; of course, she’d be curious about other women or another life. Her feelings for me and my inability to tell my father and St.Rais that I was a lesbian locked her into something that she wanted to get out of. I should have let her go, but I was jealous and selfish.”
Palmer rolled on her side, facing her, and asked, “Because shecouldgo?”
“Yes. She had choices I didn’t think I had. I didn’t want to disappoint my father, and I didn’t want to cause Alex any problems. Even though I had it in my mind that it wouldn’t end well, I still had hope that she’d come back to me.”
“You loved her,” Palmer replied, placing her hand on Elizabeth’s stomach.
“It wasn’t just that. Teagan was all I’d ever known. She was my only girlfriend, but she was also my best friend; oftentimes, my only friend. The thought of things being over between us was too much for me to handle. When she told me she was asking Alex for a divorce, I knew I was losing my girlfriend. I was in London with Victoria at the time, meeting David. I knew the moment I returned to St.Rais, Teagan would finally end things for good.”
“And you’d lose your best friend in the process?”
“I ended up losing her in a very different way than I ever expected.”
“I’m sorry, Lizzy,” Palmer said.
Elizabeth turned her head to Palmer and asked, “Do you know why I’m telling you this?”
“Not really, no.”
“Because I thought Teagan was my only chance at love. With her gone, I didn’t think I’d ever have the courage to go out and meet another woman, let alone fall in love with one, given what had happened with Teagan. What woman would want to be with me if I was too scared to tell my father, the King, that I was gay? Teagan had only done it because of our history. Another woman wouldn’t have shared that with me. She wouldn’t have been as invested.”
“You’re assuming that it takes that kind of time for someone to be that invested,” Palmer replied. “I’ve known you a few months, at most, and I’m already invested, Elizabeth.”
“Enough to move to St. Rais and be my Queen Consort one day?”
“That assumes you’re willing to tell the country you love a woman. Oh, and that you’d ask me to marry you one day.” Palmer winked at her.
“I might just let you ask me,” Elizabeth teased.
“I might just ask,” Palmer replied. “But since we have a while before we worry about that… Tell me if it’s really possible that you’ll be okay being out? I love you. I know it’s real between us, Elizabeth. But I also know who I am, and I can’t be your secret. I won’t.”
Elizabeth smiled at her and said, “Let’s see how the vote goes. If I remain Queen of St. Rais, I’ll talk to Thomas about his plan.”
“To come out?” Palmer asked.
“Yes.” Elizabeth nodded.
“You can’t do this for me; you know that. It has to be foryou. It has to be when you’re ready,” Palmer told her.
“It would be for me. I realized, when I sat behind my father’s desk today, that it reallydoesfeel like my own now. When I talk to the Prime Minister, he sees me as Queen and treats me with respect, despite how I got the job and that I’m only half his age. I am Queen. I want to remain. I’ll honor what the people want, but if I stay, I need to be honest with them about who I am and whom I love.” She gave Palmer a soft smile. “And that’s you. I never thought I’d get another chance at this, Palmer. I spent a few days with your family, and I was dreading it before I went because I thought I’d be so sad that my own was gone. And I missed them terribly, but yours made me feel so safe and so at home. I’m at home when I’m with you, my love.”
Palmer smiled and said, “I feel the same way.”
She leaned down and captured Elizabeth’s lips. Every time they kissed, the butterflies in Palmer’s belly fluttered and told her this was right; this was what kissing the woman of her dreams was supposed to feel like. It was supposed to feel like she was coming home. Palmer ran her hand up under Elizabeth’s shirt, pausing just below her breast and waiting for permission. Before she could get it, though, there was a loud knock at the door of the bedroom.
“Is there a camera in here? Do they know I was about to get to second base and decided they needed to protect your virtue?” Palmer joked, rolling onto her back.
Elizabeth laughed and said, “There are no cameras in here. I don’t know who that is. Just wait here. I’ll be right back.”
“Can we pick up where we left off?” she asked.
“Yes, love,” Elizabeth replied, laughing.
She got out of bed, reached for her navy-blue robe, and slid it on over her white-and-blue silk pajamas. Palmer watched as she walked elegantly to the double doors and pulled them open.
“Majesty, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I thought you should know.”
Palmer recognized Magnus’s voice, which caused her to sit up and listen intently.
