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“Hey, can we just watch this movie, please?” Palmer reached for Elizabeth’s hands. “I just want to sit here with you and finish this movie. That’s what I need, okay? Then, we can go to bed. If you don’t want me in there with you, I’ll sleep out here.”
“What? No, I want you in bed with me, Palmer. I want to hold you tonight. I sleep so well when you’re next to me.”
Palmer pressed her forehead to Elizabeth’s and said, “Then, that’s what we’ll do. We don’t need to worry about anything beyond tonight for now, okay? I’m not going to pressure you into having all the answers. We’ll come by those together when we need to.”
“Are you sure?” Elizabeth asked her.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t want to let you go, Elizabeth. I can’t, okay? I just need to be with you tonight. We’ll figure it out.”
“Okay. We’ll figure it out.” Elizabeth repeated after her as Palmer kissed her forehead.
They sat on the sofa, curled up together until the movie ended. Palmer wouldn’t be able to tell you the plot, but if asked later how to describe how good it felt having Elizabeth there next to her, breathing against her neck, that Palmer would remember. After that, they changed into their pajamas in different rooms, and it reminded Palmer of her first year in the dorm at NYU, when she and her roommate hadn’t known how to operate in a rectangular room with no walls. Palmer had ended up changing behind the door, using it to shield her body, and her roommate had taken to changing behind the dressers they had stacked against the wall.
After they brushed their teeth next to one another in the bathroom, sharing smiles throughout, Palmer made her way into the bedroom. The bed was a king-sized one, nice and spacious, but she kind of hoped they wouldn’t use all that space. Elizabeth slid in first. Palmer moved in next to her. Then, they rolled on their sides, facing one another.
“We haven’t talked about the whole Christmas address vote thing,” Palmer began as she wrapped an arm around Elizabeth’s waist possessively.
“Do you want to now?”
“I don’t know. It’s a big deal.”
“Itis, yes.”
“How are you feeling about it?” Palmer rubbed circles on Elizabeth’s back over her shirt.
“Scared,” the woman replied.
“What did the Prime Minister say?”
“At first, he was against it. He thinks the monarchy provides an outlet for people at times – there’s another form of government almost, without there actually being a form of government in the monarchy.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand how it all works,” Palmer said.
“You’re an American; you haven’t grown up in a country with a monarchy. In fact, if I remember correctly, your Founding Fathers, as you call them, made it illegal for the government to grant titles of any kind.”
“That sounds like us,” Palmer said.
“He understood why I wanted to do this, though,” Elizabeth added. “Given everything that happened, putting it to the people to decide the fate of the monarchy is the right thing to do. If we take no public funding for our own benefit and we aren’t lawmakers or part of any official government body, maybe they’re right: maybe weareirrelevant. If that’s what they say in their vote, I’ll renounce my title, and so will Victoria.”
“Should I ask what you’re hoping for?” Palmer asked, sliding her hand under Elizabeth’s shirt to rub her warm, soft skin.
Elizabeth’s eyes closed, and she answered, “No, because I honestly don’t know myself. One moment, I can’t picture my life any other way. The next, I think of the freedom I’d have. I could finish school, get a job in physics, and maybe get married and have kids one day.”
“With a woman?” Palmer checked.
Elizabeth’s eyes opened.
“I won’t marry a man, Palmer. I may not be as brave as you – I’m not out, and I am ashamed of that fact – but if I do ever get married, it would be to a woman. I won’t lie to myself, even if I’ve been lying to everyone else.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of, babe.” Palmer slid a little closer to her. “Nothing. No one else has the right to shame you when they don’t know your circumstances. How many young women grow up third in line to a throne with a father who makes it clear being gay is not an option? How many people have lost all that you just lost on top of having to take over for a King? Your choices are your own. And I’ll support you in them, for whatever that’s worth.”
Elizabeth’s eyes grew watery.
“And if they vote to keep the monarchy and I remain Queen?”
“Then, you remain Queen.” Palmer looked at her with confusion.
“What about us, Palmer?”
