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Hooking his thumbs in his flak jacket, Killion offered his brother a glare. “I did plenty of research, and there’s no reason to panic or start saving for therapy. Some cultures wait extended periods well past six months when the child has developed a personality that earns them a name, so it isn’t unheard of. Besides, they’ll always be baby girl and little man to me. It works.”
“Only because you don’t like change.” Finn stood and walked Killion to the door with their sisters following suit. “Maybe you’re the one who will have the identity crisis.”
Killion looked the direction of the hallway that led to the nursery before whispering, “Fuck off, Finn.”
“They heard that.” Finn slapped his brother’s back as he moved passed him and out the door. “I’ll meet you downstairs and see you all off.”
“Are you sure he’s the one the team should be leaving behind to protect Watermark?” Killion shook his head.
“Ah, he’ll be fine,” Ashlyn said, giving her big brother a quick hug, “Besides… you know Aye and me are the ones really holding things down here, right? Finn’s just for looks.”
Killion nodded awkwardly as he pulled from her embrace. Affection was hard for him –– uncomfortable and clunky.
“I’ll finish up Rainy’s room while you’re gone,” Ashlyn said over her shoulder, headed for the hallway. “Want to make sure she’s plenty comfortable when she gets here.”
“Thanks,” Killion hollered softly, and Ashlyn tossed him an acknowledging wave.
“I’ll walk you down,” Ayelish said. “I want to say goodbye to Wit anyway.”
Killion’s arm stiffened when Ayelish linked her arm with his. “Okay.”
“You ready for this?” she asked as they strolled the long hall to the elevator, the door to his apartment closing softly behind them.
“Of course, I am. It’s nothing new. We’ve done this hundreds of times before,” he answered.
Ayelish reached out and hit the button calling for the elevator. “That’s not what I mean. Are you ready for Rainy to come home? For her to be here full time.”
“Yes,” he answered shortly, staring at the numbers as they climbed along with the elevator.
“This is a lot of change, Killion. First the babies and now Rainy. Your world is kind of upside down right now,” she said. “You know there are other apartments in the building –– on your floor even –– if that would make this easier.”
“I know and I’ve considered all of the options. Ultimately, I’ve left it to Rainy. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to stay with me, but I think she came to the same conclusion I did. It will be easier for her to come home to help and the babies in one space. It works.”
“I think it’s admirable that you considered her recovery and feelings before your own, but have you really thought about what this looks like?”
“I have,” he said. “I weighed all the pros and cons of every option and keep coming back to this as our best option for now anyway.”
“Let me guess… spreadsheet or flow chart?” she teased.
“Both.”
The elevator arrived, and they both stepped on, hitting the button to take them to the underground parking garage in the building where everyone was meeting.
“You know it’s okay to feel, Killion. Feel good, bad, unsure…”
“I feel all of those things,” he said.
“It’s also okay to be confused… even afraid.”
Killion’s head whipped her direction, and his eyes filled with something she’d never seen before in her brother. Emotion.
“I’ve never felt that before, Aye. I’ve never been afraid,” he admitted. “Didn’t understand it. Until now. I think that’s what I’m feeling most.”
“What are you afraid of? Her safety and the twins? Her living with you? What it will be like living with her?”
He simply answered, “Yes.”
Ayelish noted they were approaching their destination and got to the point. “All of that is normal, sweet brother. Every bit of it. And if it gets to be too much or you just aren’t sure what to make of any of it, you come to me. Or Ash. Any of us. Okay? I know this isn’t easy for you, but also know how great you are at it even if it doesn’t seem like it.”
