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Anisah thought about saying no, but then his mouth started to move threateningly closer to her still tingling palm, and she snarled, “Yes.”
“Is it really that bad to have my ring on your finger?”
“Yes,” she burst out feelingly, but the sheikh only chuckled. She looked down at the sheikh’s ring, and her mood grew more morose. How did things get so complicated? She hadn’t even been able to fully adjust to the fact that she was the sheikh’s lover yet, and now she was his fake fiancée?
“It is growing on you now, nem?”
Her cheeks flushed at the sheikh’s wickedly teasing tone, but because she didn’t want to answer him in a straightforward mansion, she prevaricated instead, asking stiltedly, “Is this your mother’s, Your Highness?”
Tarif’s lip curled at the thought of having to give Anisah something that belonged to a woman like his mother, and his voice ended up sharper than intended. “Of course not.” Unpleasant memories started crowding his mind, and a mask of cold disgust fell over the sheikh’s handsome face. “I’d never give you something like – ”
Too late Tarif noticed Anisah’s stricken look, and he broke off when he realized how his words could be so disastrously misconstrued.
Fuck.
“You misunderstood, Tory.”
Anisah didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Her mind was whirling, and she almost wished she had the power to rewind time. If she did, she would have chosen to be less stubborn and proud. If she did, she would have forced herself to ignore the improperness of it all and just let the sheikh place his ring on her finger.
If only.
But now it was too late, and as his words echoed endlessly in her mind, hurt and confusion distorted reality, and when she looked at him it was not herself – Anisah – she saw reflected in the sheikh’s eyes. Instead, she saw Sidqi Kahveci’s daughter, and she was being judged all over again.
“Tory—-”
“No!” She recoiled from his reach, her body now shuddering as memories lashed her mind. What was once beautiful and special now felt obscene and vile – oh, how could she have given herself to him so easily?
“I am not lying, anisdi,” Tarif said forcefully. “It is truly not what you think.”
Such pretty words, she thought sickly, only now she knew they were just that. Pretty words did not a good man make, and as she lifted her gaze to his, she vowed not to let herself be fooled by the sheikh again. “Say whatever you want, Your Highness,” she said flatly. “It no longer matters—-”
“I am not lying, dammit!”
“Then tell me - what else could you have meant?” she demanded bitterly. “Tell me then! What else could it be?”
Shame threatened to swallow him up as Tarif thought of the things he had meant – and the sick, deplorable things he had long buried at the back of his mind in hopes that he would never remember them again.
“D-Do you see?” The sheikh’s silence was like a slap to her face, and she felt something in her threaten to crack. “You were lying.”
A muscle ticked at the sheikh’s jaw at the devastated look on Anisah’s face. Ah God, he wished he could tell her the truth -
But he could not. Not even for Anisah.
“Should it not be enough for you that I say it is not so?”
That was all he was going to say? Did he think she was that big a fool to let things go simply on his say so? The cracks inside of her were bigger now, and as she struggled to keep herself together, anger came to Anisah’s rescue, and she heard herself say, “Maybe it would be if I thought you were as honorable as your cousins—-”
“I would advise you to watch your tongue, anisdi.” Tarif’s tone was savage. Her words cut him deep. They were too damn close to how his own mother had used to compare him to his other cousins, and in her ranting, her own son would always come up lacking.
Why can you not be as brave as Altair?
Why can you not be as smart as Malik?
Why can you not be as skilled as Rayyan?
Why can you not be as dignified as Khalil?
The sheer rage in the sheikh’s eyes was terrifying. Anisah knew to speak another word would be a big mistake, but she just couldn't stop herself. He told her he wanted to make her smile, and she had believed him. She had believed him despite everything, the way she had so desperately tried to believe in her father despite everything – and it was that she could never forgive the sheikh for.
