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“Oh yes, we do, but that is pretty much all Claudia now. Even after the book went big and the show started, she insisted on keeping her patients. I had to pull back. One of us had to focus on the show and the opportunities our book brought.”
Talking about their background calmed him. His breathing evened out. The splotchiness on his face faded.
Finally, Josie moved the conversation in another direction. “Mr. Collins, can you take us through your day today?”
“My day? Sure. We, uh, taped our show like we do every weekday.”
Josie said, “How did it go?”
“Great, I think. We were doing the anniversary special because tonight was our fifteenth wedding anniversary.” Pain flashed through his eyes, as if the mention of their anniversary was a stab. His grip on the edge of the table tightened, turning his knuckles white.
Noah said, “At the studio this morning, was that the last time you saw your wife?”
“I—I believe so. Claudia usually leaves the studio around noon to see her patients. We were supposed to meet at home and tape the anniversary dinner.”
Josie said, “Tape it? Not eat it? Celebrate fifteen years together?”
Nervous laughter erupted from his throat. Beau said, “That was all for the show, for our fans. We were going to celebrate privately after everyone had left. We have an anniversary tradition. It’s personal.” His voice grew scratchy, and he had to clear his throat several times before continuing. Tears gleamed in his eyes. “When we started doing the show, Claudia had a rule that there were some things between us that had to stay between us. She, uh, didn’t want a three-way relationship, she said.”
“Three-way?” said Josie.
“Her, me, and the audience.”
Noah said, “What was the anniversary tradition?”
He swiped at a tear as it escaped his eye. “Canned noodle soup and peanut M&Ms.”
Josie said, “That’s oddly specific.”
Beau gave a tremulous laugh and resumed his grip on the edge of the table. “We sit on the floor of our great room and eat from the coffee table. Our first wedding anniversary we were so broke. That was all we could afford, and we ate it on the floor of our first apartment together. We didn’t even have furniture then. Claudia insists on recreating it each year. She doesn’t want us to forget where we started. She said it was—” He stopped, his Adam’s apple bobbing. When his voice returned, it was high-pitched and throaty. “It was the best meal we ever had because we were together.”
ELEVEN
Neither Josie nor Noah spoke, giving Beau a moment to compose himself. His tears flowed silently. As she watched him cry, Josie couldn’t help but think of her encounter with Claudia in December. When Josie thought he was ready, she asked, “What’s Claudia’s maiden name?”
Beau seemed surprised by the question, but he answered anyway. “White. Why is that—why do you ask?”
Instead of answering, Josie moved on to her next inquiry, keeping her tone bland. “Fifteen years of marriage is a long time. How were things between you two, privately?”
Beau tried to smile. “They were not bad, but not great. I’ll be honest, we haven’t had a lot of alone time together lately. We are both very busy. We’ve got a practice with patients. We’ve got the show every day. We’ve got the podcast each week. Our agent has been pushing us to write a new book. We just signed a huge new contract to take the show national.”
“Things were strained?” asked Noah.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” said Beau. “I know what you’re thinking—we talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. I get it. Relationship gurus who don’t practice what they preach. That’s fair. But—” Here, he stopped and craned his neck, looking at their hands. “I see you’re both married. You must know that all marriages have ups and downs.”
“Were you having a ‘down’?” Josie asked.
This time, he managed a tight smile. “I wouldn’t describe it that way.”
“Would Claudia?” asked Noah.
Beau’s fingers pressed into the table. “No, I don’t think she would. But surely, you know how it is.” He took on a pleading look when he turned his gaze to Noah. “You must have a very busy schedule, being a police officer. Surely, there have been times when you failed to make time for your wife and perhaps you drifted apart?”
Noah said, “My wife is my priority. I ‘make time’ for everything else. I’d quit this job in a heartbeat if it came between us.”
The words hit Josie like a slap. It was the painful difference between them. She loved Noah, more deeply than she had loved anyone who came before him, but she wasn’t sure she’d give up her career for him. Or for anyone. This job was difficult. The things they saw were unspeakable. Sometimes it made Josie question the point of existing at all. But it was hers and she was good at it. She had built her career with her own blood, sweat, and tears. Literally. Her success was hard-won and had come at an incalculable cost. She couldn’t imagine not doing it. Even if Noah asked her to stop. Luckily, he hadn’t. Here he was, by her side on the job, as he had been for years. Even before they got together.
Beau blinked. “Oh. Well, your wife must be very…demanding.”
