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“I know you’re mad at me for not believing you. You have every right to be. I’m sorry. I should have known you couldn’t do such a despicable thing. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
Tears clog my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. He will never see me shed tears for him again, not if I can help it.
“Okay. I’ve heard you. You can leave now.”
“Hailey.” He takes a step toward me, and I take a step back. He lets out a heavy sigh. “What must I do to show you how sorry I am?”
“Don’t ever come near me again,” I throw his words back at him.
He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose before opening them. “Hailey, I’ve been miserable without you. I know I hurt you, but I was in a rough place when I found out about the article. I was afraid I already lost you when we fought about your pregnancy.
“When the news broke, I was so consumed by rage that I allowed it to control me. I didn’t stop to think. I acted irrationally. That’s new to me because I usually don’t allow my emotions to get the best of me. When I stopped to consider everything, I realized I acted that way for a reason.” He covers the distance between us with two strides. I’m so enthralled by the intense emotion in his eyes that I don’t move away. His hand lifts to caress my cheek.
“Hailey, I’m in love with you.”
My sharply drawn breath resounds in the hallway.
“I realized how deeply I felt for you when we were in Aspen. Call me a coward, but I was scared. My first serious relationship ended badly. I’d never felt so strongly for a woman before the way I do for you, and I feared I might blow it. I messed it up when you told me you were pregnant, when I refused to accept your word about the interview and stayed away from you even though I knew I couldn’t live without you. If it weren’t for Amber, who set me straight, I would still be miserable in New York trying to forget about you. Hailey, I’m ready to grovel at your feet if it will get you to see how sorry I am for hurting you and how much I love you.”
His words cause tears to roll down my face, but they also resurrect the trauma he put me through when he rejected me, even after I told him I loved him.
“Baby, please don’t cry.” He drags me into his arms as sobs wrack my body. It feels so good to be close to him again. His musky scent invades my nose and reminds me how much I missed him.
He holds me tightly without saying anything as I wet his jacket with my tears before I pull away. He offers me his handkerchief, and I dab my eyes with it.
I fight to pull myself together.
“Hailey, please say you forgive me.”
“I forgive you.”
He releases a heavy sigh of relief. He moves to take me into his arms again, but I put a hand up. Wariness reverberates in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, but that’s it. I forgive you, but we can’t be together.”
His head jerks back as if I struck him. “What? Why?”
“I need a man who will believe me in the face of incriminating evidence.”
His eyes flicker shut as pain flashes across his face.
“I need a man who loves and trusts me enough to know what I’m capable of doing and what I’m not. I need a man who won’t accuse me of getting pregnant intentionally or sleeping with another man I was merely friends with. I need a man who won’t throw my declaration of love back in my face and think I’m trying to use it to manipulate him. Gareth Payne, you’re not that man.”
CHAPTER28
GARETH
Pain squeezes my chest tightly at Hailey’s words. I deserve every one of them and more. I hate myself for causing her so much turmoil. The pain in her eyes shows how much I hurt her.
“Please leave and never come back. There’s nothing for you here.”
When she throws my harsh words back at me, I feel like an asshole. I, too, was hurting then. I thought the woman I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with betrayed me and our beautiful relationship. I need to let her know I love her. But how? She refuses to listen to me. Would it be wise to call her mother again? The sweet woman had done enough by making herself scarce while I tried to win her daughter back.
What do I do? I’m unsure of my next actions, but one thing is certain: I’m not ready to lose Hailey. I need her in my life.
“I’m taking anger management classes now,” I inform her, hoping she’ll see I’m making an effort to be a better man for her.
“Good for you. You need them.” She looks unimpressed. I don’t know what to do to get through to her. It breaks my heart to see how much I hurt her.
