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Chapter One
Ava
Mylungsburnbutit’s nothing compared to the panic rioting in my head. Still, I hold my breath for as long as possible. That's supposed to help, I guess. The guru on YouTube says 'a quiet breath is a quiet mind'. And I would just like my brain to shut up for a few seconds so I don't feel quite like the world is collapsing around me.
Even if it totally is.
“You keep doing that and you’re going to hyperventilate." My best friend's wry tone permeates my despairing thoughts.
I release the breath I'm holding long enough to answer. “I’m trying to take deep breaths to calm down.”
“Yeah, you're not doing a good job of that,” she says. “You’re breathing too fast.”
“Am I?” I thought I was breathing at the right pace like Guru Kashvi said, but now I'm second-guessing myself. More than any guru, if there's anyone who knows a shit ton about meditation, it's Chloe.
"Yeah, you are. And you’re gonna make yourself pass out.”
Great. Apparently, I can't even breathe right. “Then what the heck else am I supposed to do?”
She sighs and brushes back her riotous blonde hair, pushing her mug to me. “Here. Have some chamomile tea.”
“Erm… no, thank you.” My stomach feels like lead and I'm most definitely going to throw up if I eat or drink anything.
Chloe nods like she understands and extends one bangled hand to me. “Wanna meditate or pray?”
I take the hand but shake my head. “Nope. I’m too wired for meditation right now. And as for prayer, if there’s a god out there, I think he already proved he hates my guts.”
Chloe smirks but I'm being dead serious. I really feel like whatever deity is running this entire simulation has somehow programmed my inevitable doom. Because how else can I explain the week from hell I just had?
“Okay, so tell me what happened.”
I take a deep breath. “It started well,” I begin, the whole thing playing out in my mind. “You remember one of our senior agents retired a month ago, right?”
Chloe nods.
“They haven’t replaced him yet and rumor was they were going to pick someone this week. So, on Monday, my boss Greg invited me to his office after work. I assumed it was one of two things. He was either going to give me a promotion or assign me a VIP client, which is just as good as a promotion.”
Chloe nods again like she understands. But I don’t think she does, because I don’t explain it well. Elation couldn't even describe how I felt at the time. For the past three years, I gave this job my all, put in countless hours of overtime, and harvested my blood, sweat, and tears to climb the corporate ladder from intern to Senior Agent. And it worked. I was nowthetop-selling agent at Clarkson Real Estate. Senior Agent seemed like a natural next step.
The culmination of my hard work finally paying off.
But of course, as usual, I was wrong.
It’s almost hilarious how wrong I was and I hold in a snort trying to escape me. Honestly, I’m either about to laugh hysterically or breakdown and sob. It’s a close call which one might happen, so I’m trying to keep a lid on both.
“So, I go into his office and turns out that man doesn’t plan on giving me a raise.” I swallow past the anger choking my throat. “Oh no, he was just happy to get me alone, so he could attempt to shove his hand up my skirt while he tried to plant a big old wet one on my lips.”
“Ew.” Chloe’s face wrinkles in disgust.
“Exactly. Imagine how I feel. He has a wife, for crying out loud.” What an asshole. I shiver just thinking about it. “The second I noticed he was pulling in, I thought I was going to puke. All I could do was just smack him in the chest, jerk back, and storm out of his office. I could just die.”
“I can’t even imagine. Gross. Did you report him?” Chloe asks.
“I thought about it,” I respond. “Since it happened, I thought about taking the issue to HR. I probably should’ve, but you know I hate confrontations. And he’s my boss!”
“Ava.” Chloe sounds exasperated.
“I know I know. But I need this job…and I dunno. I thought maybe if I ignored it, it would just resolve itself.” Looking back, it’s a stupid thing to think. I somehow convinced myself that it wasn't that bad. “And what if I read the situation wrong and he wasn't trying to kiss me? Or if there was a bug on my face and he was just trying to blow it away? Or what if he read it wrong and thought I was making a move? Can you imagine?” I waffled for three days, plagued over what to do.
