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But not the way she takes. Not of Nina or her father.
Truth is, I’m terrified of the way Ava makes me feel. These past few days, she’s snuck herself into my mind and heart and soul and I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s firmly under my skin and I can’t get her out of it. My heart is fucking ripping apart in my chest because she’s in there crying. And I’m out here talking to the woman who caused it.
How fucking pathetic and cowardly is that?
But the reason I don’t go in there is for her own good. Because I know what's going on here. I know that whatever this intense thing I'm feeling is, she's feeling it too.
And I don't want her to fall for me. Because I'll only break her heart.
As much as I want to go in there and fix this, and tell her Nina and her father mean nothing to me, doing so will elongate her illusion and will make it all the harder for her to get over me. And I’d rather be the asshole that she sees in her rearview mirror as she moves on the greater things, than the man who breaks her heart and ruins her life.
Because that's exactly what's going to happen, I'm sure of it. If I keep this going on too long and let her feel how she feels, she’s in for a world of heartbreak later.
“Maybe she’s having bowel problems,” Nina says and giggles to herself like a fucking sixth grader.
I pin her with a look that has her laughter dying off. “My girlfriend’s bowel is not your concern.”
“Wait, hold on.” Her father looks up from his phone, sits up in his chair, and glances at me. “You have a girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” I say, and just like that my attention is drawn to the lobby. I hate that I'm so tuned into it that I notice but I can't help turning in my seat. Ava emerges, laughing with another woman looking no worse for the wear.
“That’s her right there,” I say gesturing toward Ava. At the same time, her eyes meet mine, and I gesture her over. Her face tightens, she looks away and continues her conversation with the woman, pointedly ignoring me.
That brat.
“But…I thought you were dating my daughter.” Nina's father's eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“Oh, Dad,” Nina interjects waving her hand. “I said we have a relationship, not that we’re dating.” She glances at me. “What he and I have is so far beyond dating.”
And what you have is so far beyond insanity.
“We’re not in a relationship,” I tell him. “Your daughter and I are just friends. Now you said there was some business you wanted to talk to me about?” Usually, I wouldn’t be so blatant and rushed with business but I’m eager to leave and get back to Ava.
“Oh, right.” The man laughs. “There’s no hurry. We can talk about business later.”
“In the meantime, let’s go dance,” Nina says and leans in the perfect move to show off her breasts. My body doesn't even stir. “The music's pretty good."
"No.” I don’t want to dance or do anything with her. I’m tired of the charade and I can feel my irritation reaching its breaking point. “And I’d rather talk about business now.”
"Oh." The old man is taken aback by my tone, but Nina is undeterred.
“Did I tell you about my trip to Paris?” she asks.
I nearly groan from the pure torture. God, I’m in hell.
“No.”
As she proceeds to start on it, I let my eyes and mind wander, landing on Ava again. She must be embroiled in a fucking scintillating conversation with the woman because she doesn’t look at me once. Instead, she focuses on the woman, nodding at intervals and giving her opinion.
I turn my attention to the woman but I don’t recognize her. She takes Ava by the arm and starts steering her toward another cluster of people, and I can tell from her hand gestures and mouth movements that she is introducing Ava to them.
And they’re all smiling.
Particularly the tall motherfucker with green eyes and floppy blonde hair.
I see the interest in his eyes as he stares down at Ava, the way he smiles with the dimple on his cheek like he's a fucking movie star. He immediately moves to take Ava's hand in a handshake and holds it for a whole three seconds after. Fucker. That’s three seconds too long.
I know what he’s thinking and I know what he wants, and it’s taking everything in me not to walk to him and take him out.
