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I hear her yelling my name behind me but I don’t stop. I get in my car and drive away, completing the actions in a haze.
I drive on autopilot, not paying attention. I can’t. Everything in me is screaming, fighting, cracking. Every assumption I had of Ava is breaking.
I have a daughter. I have a daughter and she kept it from me all this time.
The ring of my phone interrupts my musing but I ignore it, even as it rings over and over and over again.
My fingers clench on the wheel. Something crazy and destructive is building up inside me so I pull up to the side of the road before I do something stupid. I have no clue where I am and I don’t care.
My child.
I have a child.
This is too much.
The next time the phone rings, my hand moves automatically to press the answer button. “I’m not in the mood.”
“I know this looks bad,” Chloe says.
I’m silent.
“Yeah, I mean, it probably looks way beyond bad. But think about it.” She sighs. “Most women would have proudly come forward with the information that you fathered their child. You’re a billionaire. She would have told you that she had your child and gotten from you whatever she wanted. But she didn’t.”
“Instead, she kept it from me?" I can't get over the bitterness, the blatant deceit. Fuck, this is the shock of my life.
Chloe is quiet for a few seconds. “You didn’t give her any indication you wanted a kid."
"What the fuck are you talking about?” The fury finally explodes out of me, the utter despair at the injustice. “They told me I couldn’t have kids. What the fuck do I look like, hoping for something I can’t have? Plus, did you think I would be a good father with the kind of example we have?” I rub my hand over my face. “All that doesn’t mean that I won’t want to know my own fucking child.”
Chloe sighs. “Look, I’m not saying what she did was right. And I’m mad at her too.. Just think about it from her perspective, okay?”
"And what’s her fucking perspective?”
"You’re a big powerful man who could crush her like a bug if you wanted to. You slept with her once and then just left her like she was nothing. How is she supposed to know you want to hear from her again? How does she know you won’t force her to have an abortion or take the child from her?”
“Please." It's a ridiculous thought. "Why on earth would I do that?”
“Because that’s what some men of your status do,” Chloe says. “And she isn’t going to know that you’re not that kind of man if you didn’t even give her a chance to know who you are. Her options are, to tell the truth to a cruel man who's way richer and more powerful than her or keep her mouth shut and let her child be safe. She did what she thought was right.”
“And now?” I challenge. “Why didn’t she tell me now? Why keep hiding from it?”
“She was going to tell you today,” Chloe says. “That’s why she called me, to figure out how to come clean. She’s been trying to for weeks now but she knew you would be furious and she didn’t have the heart. Look, you can be as mad as you want but I propose you don’t let this end your relationship. And don’t hurt her any more with your words.”
“Of course not.” I straighten and stretch, trying to release the tension in my muscles. Even in all my fury, it never occurred to me. “That’s why I walked away. So I don’t say anything I don’t mean.”
Chloe is quiet after I say that. “You really do love her, don’t you?”
Yes. And that’s what makes this whole thing fucked up. Because despite everything, I'm still in love with her.
But I can't forget that she kept my daughter from me.
"I'm going to go," Chloe says. "I kind of left Ava a mess so I have to call her and tell her you’re fine. She was worried."
I nod. "Tell her I’ll be there soon. We’ll talk about it. I just need to clear my head.”
"Tell her yourself. Bye."
Chloe hangs up, and I take a few seconds to sit in silence. And then I release a breath and call Ava.
