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For the first time, that evening, she fastened the bolt on the bathroom door before taking her shower.
She’d brought the golden culotte dress with her, and had intended to wear it that evening, but after a moment’s irresolution she thrust it back in the wardrobe. It held too many connotations, she told herself defensively as she closed the zip on a pretty jade-green dress with a wide scooped neckline and wrap-around skirt.
The Ramayana was as spectacular as she could have wished, its theme the conflict between good and evil, as so many Balinese ballets depicted. Amanda was intrigued to see that the roles of the two princely brothers, sent by intrigue into exile, were danced by women, Rama in a golden crown and Laksmana in a black one. She was completely carried away by the story of kidnapping, demons and enchantment which followed, with Rama’s wife, Sita, being snatched away by the evil tyrant Rawana in his hideous mask.
She loved the animals, too, which were such a feature of the performance—the golden deer which lured Rama away from his wife, and the heroic Jatayu bird which tried to rescue her from her captor, not to mention the monkeys whose caperings added a touch of broad slapstick to the performance.
As the Monkey God, Hanumen, led Sita to rejoin her husband in triumph at the end, Amanda clapped until her hands tingled.
'I'll never forget it—never,‘ she told Malory ecstatically. ’Oh, this is the most wonderful place in the world. If only…‘ She stopped dead.
‘Yes?’ Malory prompted gently enough, but with a closed expression in his face.
‘Nothing,’ she said, with a little unhappy gasp.
‘Let me guess’ he said harshly. ’If only you could have been here with the man you love. Isn’t that it?‘
Amanda flushed dully, ‘I suppose so.’ She lifted her chin with a touch of defiance. ‘What else do you expect?’
There was a brief, loaded silence, then he lifted his shoulders in a shrug. ‘Not a thing.’ His smile did not reach his eyes, as he extended a formal hand to her. ‘Shall we go and sample the delights of the Ristafel?’
‘What’s that?’ Amanda tried to restore the easy footing of the past few weeks, which her tactless slip of the tongue had endangered.
‘A Dutch rice table,’ he said. ‘An Indonesian buffet with more dishes than you can dream of.’ His mouth twisted satirically. ‘Another memory for you to cherish.’
She followed him miserably. It had all turned sour, suddenly, and she couldn’t understand why it had happened. Those two small words had made it sound as if she’d been longing and grieving for Nigel all the time, and that wasn’t true at all. Perhaps hearts didn’t break as easily as she’d thought, or maybe she was just totally disillusioned with his egocentric, vicious behaviour.
People were already clustering around the long tables, exclaiming happily over the food. There were few families at the hotel, she noticed. Most of the guests were couples, and she was sure that she and Malory were not the only honeymooners. She found herself noticing with a kind of heightened consciousness the linked hands, the exchanged smiles and intimate, lingering looks that spoke of fulfilled love.
The food looked wonderful—Amanda saw her favourite nasi goreng and duck broiled in a banana leaf among the dishes—but she wasn’t hungry any more.
She touched Malory’s sleeve. ‘I—I think I’ll go back to the bungalow.’ She saw him begin to frown, and went on hurriedly, ‘We have a long flight ahead of us, and I’m rather tired.’
‘Just as you wish,’ he said after a pause. ‘Do you want me to walk you back?’
She forced a smile. ‘Why—because the demon king, Rawana, might be waiting to snatch me away? No, I’ll be fine. Enjoy your dinner.’
She slipped away through the throng. She would occupy herself with some packing, she thought, and save time in the morning.
But when she was by herself, she found she was in no real hurry to return to the bungalow. A sliver of moon had appeared above the trees, and she lingered on one of the fragile-seeming bridges, looking at its reflection in the pool beneath.
She had once read somewhere that if you captured the moon in the water, your wish would be granted, and found she was wondering what she would wish for, if it was true.
But she knew what she wanted. She wished for the past weeks to be wiped away, and Nigel to be waiting for her at Calthorpe, loving and faithful.
The reflection blurred and fragmented as a fish broke the surface of the pool, and she was glad, because—just for a moment—she’d seen another, very different, image in the water.
And that made no sense at all, because Malory was the last person in the world she wanted—wasn’t he?
