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I turn to him, not even having time to tell him off before my mom snaps at him, “Go to bed. Don’t be an idiot!”
“Your brother isn’t here,” the soldier tells me.
I turn to my mother, turn on her. “How did you know what the killer had written on her stomach?”
Her mouth opens. Closes. She swallows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re scaring me, Santos. You sound like your father. His temper— ”
“W-H-O-R-E.” I spell it out, cutting her off. “How did you know? Because I cleaned that off her before the cops got there. No one knew. No one but me and the killer.” Not even Alexia. She was, thankfully, dead by then. My mom’s eyes fill with tears, and I feel that twisting in my chest. “Her killer was right-handed. Her father couldn’t fucking blow his nose with his right hand.” There’s a long, heavy pause and fuck, is this happening? Is this really fucking happening? “Mom?” I ask, hearing the break in my voice.
She shakes her head, wipes a tear.
“Your brother—”
I slam my fist into the wall just an inch from her head. She screams, jumps, and I pull my hand back. It throbs and there’s a fist-size hole in the wall.
“Where is he?”
Her lower lip trembles. A thing I’ve never seen before.
“Where the fuck is he?”
“I don’t know. He’d been talking about that lighthouse. I went to bed. Oh, God, do you think…” she trails off, running past me toward Caius’s room and straight to the windows. “He was drunk. He was—”
“Was it him?” I ask her.
She turns to me. “Go after him. Please. Go after him. Santos, whatever you think, it’s not true. Just go after him, bring him back. Please!”
I look past her shoulder to the hulking lighthouse. Did he go out there? For what reason? I know what state he was in when I left him. If he’s up there… shit! I spin on my heel and charge through the apartment to the front door. “Keep her here. She doesn’t go anywhere. You’re with me!” I tell one of the soldiers, and I’m halfway down the hall when someone screams for me to stop.
I do and turn to find Ana with the blanket wrapped around her, my mother on her heels.
“He’s not at the lighthouse. He said he’d be back tomorrow.”
I stalk toward her. “Where did he go?”
“Some strange place. I’d never heard of it.” She shakes her head, trying to remember, and a sick feeling overwhelms the one of betrayal like a weight in my gut, a fist around my heart.
“Where?” I ask, my voice foreign.
She looks up at me. “Hells Bells.”
34
MADELENA
Itry to sleep. There’s nothing else I can do. I can’t even call Santos to talk to him. None of our cell phones work and it’s the middle of the night. I won’t disturb Father Michael now… not after what he’s had to do already.
The only problem is after tossing and turning for over an hour, I’m still wide awake. I switch on the light on the bedside table and get up. When I set my feet on the hardwood floor, I’m grateful for the thick socks Santos had packed, surprised he’d even thought of it in his mad dash. I get out of the bed and go to the window. It looks different than the last time I was here; only a partial moon shines over the water tonight. I wrap my arms around myself as I take in the view, realizing how completely alone we are out here.
After putting on a sweater over my T-shirt, one of Santos’s, I make my way downstairs quietly, not sure if I’ll run into Val or the other soldiers. They were taking shifts, and at least one of them was going to sleep on the sofa, so half-way down I peer over to see if he’s there. He is. It’s not Val, but one of the others I don’t know. He’s huddled beneath the thick blanket, asleep. The fire is down to its dying embers.
I glance out of the window looking over the back of the property and see the other soldier. He’s facing away from me, and he must be freezing. But then I notice the puff of smoke. He’s just out there having his cigarette. Feeling slightly less guilty, I make my way to the kitchen and open the cupboards until I find tea bags and mugs. I pour water into the kettle and switch on the gas stove, wincing at the sound the old stove makes because it’s loud. But the man on the couch doesn’t stir, and as I wait for the water to heat up, I look out the window over the sink and take in the stark beauty of the place. I can imagine a younger Santos here. I can see it as the sanctuary it was to him. To be isolated in nature, and to be forgiven and accepted by the man who takes you in. I think he needed that more than anything else those years.
Santos. My concern returns as the kettle steams. I switch off the gas and pour the boiling water into my cup. What happened tonight that he needed to get me out of Avarice the way he did? What is he dealing with that I don’t even think Val knows about? Because Val is possibly his closest confidante. I think so, at least. I wonder where Caius falls. They’re close but there’s something between them, a jealousy, an accusation? Something I can’t quite put a word to. I wonder if whatever it is that sent him into that frenzy has to do with Caius.
Once the tea is ready, I throw away the teabag and make my way back up to the bedroom because I don’t know where else to go. I stoke the fire and lay another log on it. Before climbing back into the bed, I notice something in the duffel bag. It’s the book Camilla returned to me. Santos must have packed it by accident in his rush.
I pick it out now and get back into the bed. After propping the pillows, I set the book on my lap, and my mind conjures up Camilla’s image. She’s strange. Beautiful and wicked but also just a little off. But I guess being the Commander’s daughter will do that to you.
