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“I just needed some fresh air.”
“That’s fair. I’m sure this is all really overwhelming. But why didn’t you ask me first? If it weren’t for my security system alerting me the door had opened, I wouldn’t have known you were out there. And you’re not exactly dressed for the weather.”
“I’m wearing a sweater.” Some petulance had crept into her voice, and he’d never been so grateful to have someone argue with him.
“A thin sweater, not nearly enough for how cold it is out there.”
Her shoulders slumped forward, and he felt like kicking himself. But he needed her to understand that the rules he had were for her safety and wellbeing, not just because he felt like being a controlling dick.
“I know. It was st—”
The tenuous hold he had on his temper snapped. “Little girl, if the word stupid comes out of your mouth one more time, I’m going to put you over my knee.”
As soon as the words had left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. Not only was it wildly inappropriate, given she was technically a client, he had no idea what kind of trauma she had in her past.
He was opening his mouth to apologize when she looked up. To his surprise, there wasn’t fear or even apprehension in her deep brown eyes. If anything, he would have said she almost looked… relieved.
“Maybe you should,” she said, her voice stronger than he’d heard it since he had met her.
“Maybe I should what?” He wasn’t entirely certain she knew what he’d been implying.
“Spank me.” It was said matter-of-factly, as if it were completely normal to ask a virtual stranger to physically discipline you. “That’s what you meant, right? About putting me over your knee?”
“Yes, but I’m not going to spank you, honey. That would be wrong.”
“Why?” Genuine confusion filled her eyes. “I said it was okay, so you have my consent.”
“I appreciate that, but no. You aren’t in any kind of place emotionally to be giving consent right now.”
For a moment, it looked like she might argue with him. And he almost wished she would. More than anything, he wanted some hint that she knew how to fight back, that she hadn’t been completely stripped of her ability to stand up for herself.
Instead, he got only a sigh and a meek nod. “Okay.”
It was ridiculous to feel guilty when he knew he’d done the right thing, but she looked like a puppy who’d been kicked one too many times, and he couldn’t help but hate himself a little for it. But he knew he’d hate himself even more if he took advantage of her vulnerable state, so he did his best to push the guilty feelings aside. “That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you are going to sit over there at that desk and write out the rule you broke fifty times to make sure it sticks in your head.”
“I think I’d rather have the spanking,” she muttered darkly.
Most Little girls would, in his experience. Pushing to his feet, he held out a hand. She accepted the help up with a small sigh and he had to swallow a laugh as he led her over to the desk.
The notebooks were exactly where they’d always been, in the second drawer on the right, along with an assortment of colorful pens. A lump formed in his throat at the sight of them, scattered in the drawer without any kind of attempt at organization. As many times as he’d tried, he’d never been able to throw them out or even pack them up.
Shoving aside the memories threatening to overwhelm him, he blindly grabbed a notebook and pen and placed them on the desk in front of her. “Fifty times. ‘I will not go outside without letting Dean know’. Got it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. I’ll be in my office if you need me, and I’ll check on you in half an hour.”
He hurried away before she could ask anymore questions, and before the emotions he’d kept locked away for so long had a chance to break free.
CHAPTER5
That was… strange.
If there was one thing she was really good at, it was picking up on those subtle shifts in someone’s mood. And even though he’d been perfectly nice, Dean’s mood had darkened after he’d set her at the little desk in the corner of the living room.
