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“Well, I can’t speak for my brother, but I’m definitely not agreeing to that.” Looking even more irritated than he had when the call started, Bryant jabbed a finger toward the screen. “Figure your shit out, go back to therapy, whatever you need to do. I’m not sitting back and watching my friend ruin his second chance at happiness because he thinks he’s too fucking broken for any woman to love him. Grow up, Dean. And let us know when they catch this fucker so we can all go back to our regularly scheduled lives.”
With that, Bryant’s square went black and then disappeared from the call entirely. Suddenly feeling more tired than he could remember being in a long time, Dean shot the remaining Monroe brother a glare. “You got something to say?”
“No, I believe my brother summed up all the salient points. Other than we love you, and we miss you. It’s time to come out of hiding, Dean.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Good enough. For now.”
CHAPTER18
That night, the nightmares finally came for her. Twisting and confusing, shifting from one scene to the next so quickly it made her dizzy. Her mother standing over her, venom literally pouring from her mouth as she listed all of MaryAnn’s perceived sins. Then over to her brother, still and lifeless at the bottom of the stairs. Shannon in the hospital bed, an image that was imprinted in her mind from the one visit she’d managed to sneak in without anyone noticing.
Olivia, tied to a chair, hurt and betrayal and pleading in her eyes as the rope around her neck tightened further and further, digging into her flesh so deeply it was a wonder it didn’t crush her esophagus.
And Nate. Sweet, patient, supportive Nate, who had never so much as raised his voice to her. Standing behind Olivia, that same rope wrapped around his hands and a maniacal gleam in his eyes.
“Enjoying the show? You like to watch people die, don’t you, MaryAnn? You’re fascinated by it, by the light leaving their eyes as they take that last breath. You can pretend like you didn’t know what I was, but deep down, you knew. You always knew. And you liked it.”
No, no, that’s not true, it’s not!
“Shh, babygirl, wake up. I’m right here, baby, it was just a dream. Just a dream.”
Gasping for air, she clawed her way up out of the nightmare back to the real world. The real world where Dean’s strong arms were around her, cradling her. Where she was safe from the monsters of her past.
And from the truth of what she’d done.
The tears came hot and fast. Burying her face into his neck, she let them fall, let the sobs wrack her body as she wept out the pain and the fear.
“Oh, baby,” Dean murmured, pulling her even more tightly against his chest. “That’s my good girl. Let it out.”
She obeyed, not that she really had any choice in the matter. She couldn’t have stopped the tears at that point if she’d wanted to.
By the time they ran dry, she was beyond exhausted. Wrung out, hollowed out, completely empty of anything but the dull ache in her chest that was a constant reminder of what kind of person she really was.
“Poor baby.” Pressing a kiss to her hair, Dean held her for a few moments longer. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
“No.” Even just that one syllable hurt to speak, her throat felt so raw from crying.
“It can wait, then. How about a hot bubble bath to help you settle and then we’ll go back to bed. Okay?”
There was no way in hell she was telling him about the nightmare. But she didn’t want to argue, so she just nodded and let herself be scooped up and carried into the ridiculously large bathroom off her suite, with its equally ridiculous tub.
It was all just one more reminder she didn’t belong there. Didn’t belong with him. She didn’t deserve to live a life of luxury and comfort, not after everything she’d done.
“Baby, baby, baby. Why are you crying again? What’s wrong?”
Unable or unwilling to form the words, she just shook her head. Thankfully, he dropped it, focusing instead on drawing the bath and adding an insane amount of purple frothy bubbles. Another time it might have made her smile.
The soothing scent of lavender met her nose as the fragrant steam filled the bathroom while he stripped them of their pajamas. And then she was being lifted into the tub, with Dean settled behind her. He took his time, pouring oil into his hands to work at the knots in her shoulders while they soaked.
Too bad he couldn’t do anything about the knot in her chest. That was still firmly lodged in place even when her limbs felt like jell-o and he had to carry her back to the bed.
He slid under the covers with her, his chest pressed to her bare back. But as exhausted as she was, sleep eluded her. Twisting around to face him, she lifted her lips to his, seeking the comfort only he seemed able to provide. Once Nate was found, she would never have this again, so why shouldn’t she take everything she could while she was here?
In the dark, they moved together. Soft, almost too-tender touches stoking the embers of her need until the fire raged hot and bright just under her skin.
When he finally slipped inside her, filling her, she might have wept with gratitude if she’d had any more tears left to give. And when it was done, when both their desires had been slaked, sleep finally came for her again.
