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“But that’s not how this is supposed towork. I broke a rule, so I’m supposed to get punished. That’s the deal.”
“Normally, yes, but there’s room for flexibility. And mercy.”
Eyes snapping with anger, she lifted her chin, the stubborn set of her jaw making him raise an eyebrow. “Well, what if I don’t want you to be flexible or merciful?”
That was a tangle he hadn’t expected, although in hindsight he probably should have. He already knew his babygirl benefited from rules and structure. Was it really that surprising that she would actuallywantto be punished?
“All right. Let’s get some breakfast and we can talk about your punishment.”
* * *
Nerves had her stomach jumping,but she didn’t feel anything close to the panic she’d expected to. There was no doubt this was going to be one doozy of a spanking, but she not only trusted Dean completely, she wanted this.
Neededit. Despite the lightness she’d told him she felt now that Nate was gone, she still felt a twisting in her gut whenever she thought about how scared he must have been when she’d disappeared. Not to mention what he must have felt when he’d walked into that bedroom and found her grappling with a man with a gun.
She didn’t feel an ounce of remorse for helping to rescue Shannon, or for Nate’s death. But she felt awful that she’d hurt Dean, however unintentionally, and she was anxious to have that guilt expunged.
“What’s on your mind, babygirl?”
Jumping slightly at his words, she blinked down at the breakfast she’d apparently been staring at for god only knew how long. “Ummm…”
“Before you answer, I’d like to remind you about Rule Number One.”
Rule Number One: Be honest. Why was that always the hardest one of all for her to follow? “I was thinking about how scared you must have been yesterday, and how sorry I am that I put you through that again.” Wincing at her words, she rushed to clarify. “Not that I think what we have is anything close to what you had with your wife, just that, you know. We care about each other, at least, I care about you. A lot. And since I do care about you, I should have thought about how hard it would be for you to have someone else you sorta care about in danger and I didn’t and I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate the apology. But you got one pretty big thing wrong, babygirl.”
“I did? What?”
Turning on his stool, he cupped her face. Butterflies exploded in her stomach at the simple, possessive touch. “You’re right that what I feel for you isn’t anything like what I felt for Annie. But that doesn’t make it less than. I love you, MaryAnn Foster, with everything I have in me. I love how your whole face lights up when you try something new. I love how you can wipe the floor with me at pretty much any game. And I love how fucking brave you are, even though you don’t think so, and even though it scares the shit out of me.”
For a moment she felt nothing. But then joy swooped in, pure and simple, filling her up so completely she wondered how she didn’t simply burst. “You love me?”
“I do. So yes, it nearly stopped my heart to see you fighting off a goddamn serial killer with your bare hands. I’ve only ever been that scared one other time in my whole life.”
“With Annie.” Guilt squeezed in alongside the joy, and she knew that even without the punishment she had coming, she would do whatever it took to make sure she never made him feel that way again for as long as she lived.
“Yes.” His grip on her face tightened, and a desperation she’d never expected to see from a man like him filled his eyes. “Please, please, promise me you’ll never do anything like that again. I don’t think my heart could take it.”
“I promise,” she whispered.
“Thank you.” Closing his eyes, he leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers. “Thank you.”
“I really am sorry I put you through that again. All I could think of was getting to Shannon.”
Dean pulled away again, a slight frown pulling at his lips. “You told the cops you knew where he was because you two had never been to Catonsville. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Shrugging, she lowered her gaze to his chest. “You weren’t listening.”
“What? You didn’t even try to talk to me, MaryAnn.”
“Yes, I did. I tried to tell you that calling the cops wouldn’t help but you brushed me off.”
“Eyes on me, little girl. Now.” He waited until she was looking up at him again, and she was grateful for the stool because she wasn’t sure her knees would have held up against the disappointment in his eyes. “I didn’t realize you were trying to tell me something important. From now on, I need you to try a bit harder if it seems like I’m not listening to you, okay? If I’d known you had some kind of insight, I would have listened. But you didn’t really give me a chance.”
“No, I suppose I didn’t. I’m sorry for that, too.”
“Well, we can address that with your punishment as well. Eat up, babygirl. You’re going to need the extra energy.”
