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Her face turned bright red.“I hate you so much, Atlas.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
HAZEL
“You know, women do fart, right?”
I looked at Hannah and shook my head. “You’re missing the point.”
“I think I get the point. You were too scared to pass gas in front of the guy you had no problem opening your legs for. You really made him drive you all the way home just to hurry upstairs and let out atoot?”
“This wasn’t atoot, Hannah,” I said. “Pregnancy changes everything.”
“Well, I can’t say anything to that. But it’s kind of sweet. In a weird way. You two have a moment now.”
“Oh, yeah, a great moment. Atlas is shirtless. Looking sexy. He cooked breakfast for me. And what did I do? First off, I freaked out over the pan he used.”
Hannah cringed. “He used Gram’s good pan?”
I nodded.
“You didn’t kill him?”
“No,” I said. “I explained what the pan meant. He hugged me. The moment passed.”
“Hey, that’s good. See? He’s not that much of an asshole. And you ripped one in front of him and he didn’t run away.”
I sighed. “I didn’t mean to let one sneak out like that. I have gas. It has nowhere to go because of the baby.”
I pointed to my belly.
Yeah, it was bigger.
I felt like it doubled in size each night.
“Okay,” Hannah said. “You’re pregnant. You’re allowed to handle things any way you want. You have to do anything you need to. So guess what? You stood up and…”
“Go ahead. Say it.”
“You farted in front of the hottest guy you’ve ever met,” Hannah said.
She held it together for another second -longer than I thought she would.
Then she started to laugh.
“Oh, come on, Hannah,” I snapped. “You never had atootin front of a guy?”
She waved her hands. “Okay, I’ve got one for you. Something I never told you before. This was a while ago. Years ago.” She wiped the corners of her eyes. “Do you remember Jake?”
“Surfer Jake,” I said. “He was beautiful.”
“You always asked why it didn’t work out. It’s because he insisted on some restaurant that drove my stomach nuts. I waited until he was asleep before going to the bathroom. I should have found a public bathroom. I didn’t. I did my business. I had it all planned out. Windows out. Use the toilet. Clean the toilet. Take a shower. Nothing would be known. Then, the toilet wouldn’t flush.”
Now I smiled.
“Yeah, go ahead and smile. The toilet refused to flush. Then it started to creep up. The water? I had to turn the water off to the toilet and I wrote Jake a note. I literally wrote‘I’m sorry for the toilet. Last night was fun. Don’t ever call me again.’Then I left.”
“Hannah.”
