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The stuff they don’t show in shows and movies.
What happened after giving birth.
“Atlas, stay with her,” I said. “Please swear to me you’ll stay with her.”
I knew he was torn on what to do.
His first impossible decision as a father.
When it should have been a joyous moment.
A moment of me and him holding our daughter, loving her, talking to her, looking at each other, falling more in love with one another.
“Go,” I growled at Atlas. “Tell her I love her…”
My chin quivered.
This was impossible for me.
Unable to just climb out of the hospital bed and take care of my daughter.
I didn’t even get to see her yet.
I didn’t even get to hear her.
Atlas kissed my cheek and walked away.
Charles took his place.
Charles leaned down and began to hum like he had done in the car.
“Thank you for being here,” I managed to say to him.
“She would be so proud of you right now, Hazel. And actually, she is proud of you. I’m not sure what you believe, but I believe in it. I believe she’s here right now. In some way.”
I didn’t need to hear that either.
I just wanted my daughter in my arms.
I just wanted Atlas with me.
I just wanted my family.
I listened to Charles hum.
I felt Hannah holding my hand.
I looked to make sure I could still see Atlas as he stood with our daughter.
My body and heart and mind felt split into fifty pieces at once.
The whole pregnancy and birth thing was nothing like the movies at all.
That made me angry, even though I knew it wasn’t real.
I closed my eyes and put my head back.
I suddenly saw Gram.
