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“Hazel, getting hurt is part of life.”
“No shit,” I said. “Look at this house. It’s empty without Gram. I’m hurting, Hannah. I’m hurting every single day. Maybe I can’t handle more loss, okay? Maybe I want to be in control of the loss for once.”
“Which is why you punched Atlas in the jaw and kicked him out.”
I hung my head. “Yes.”
“That’s okay. He’s a hockey player. He knows how to take a punch. And you know what? Don’t give it to him easily then. Screw my advice. I’m thinking with my clit instead of my brain. “
I shook my head. “You have a way with words, Hannah.”
“I’m just being honest. I think it’s smart. Make Atlas show up. Make him want to be here. Drive him a little bit crazy for you.”
“I’m not sure I’ll go that far.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s so fucking hot,” I said.
Hannah jumped up and off the steps. “I know! He’s like this ten foot monster of muscle and… and… big, strong, hard cock…”
“Okay, that’s enough out of you,” I said. “I’m going to go ice my hand some more and probably go to sleep. I’m tired and dazed.”
“Want me to spend the night?”
“You don’t have to do that. I bet you have that surfer guy ready to come back, don’t you?”
“What?” Hannah yelled. “Me? Do that? I would never do… that…”
“Just text him,” I said.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
Hannah wiggled her hips.“Oh, you have no idea how happy you just made my clit!”
Once Hannah-and her happy clit- left, I put the bag of frozen peas back in the freezer and got changed into pajamas.
Upstairs in my bedroom, I shut my eyes for a moment.
I swallowed hard.
I touched my stomach.
I tried so hard to hear the sound of the television in Gram’s room.
She loved reality shows so much.
Every singing show, cooking show, right down to shows with wives fighting each other over husbands who were cheating. The crazier it got, the more she loved it.
She would write down each person on the show and pick her favorite.
Sometimes she talked about them as though she actually knew them.
I even once told her she was addicted to those shows.
She gently reminded me she was the one dying of cancer and she could do whatever the hell she felt like.
