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Beyond shattered.
I looked around my apartment.
Seb sat on the arm of the couch.
My psycho ex sat on the kitchen floor, holding his face.
He asked me for a towel or a paper towel or a napkin and I told him to go fuck himself.
Any time he spoke, Seb looked at him and made a fist.
That’s when Kevin would look away.
He knew he was done for.
Kevin.
Part of me couldn’t believe I ever let it happen.
I went out to a bar and found myself an alleged rough and tough guy to keep me company. In reality, the night I met Kevin, he got lucky and picked a fight with someone too drunk to defend themselves.
I let it all turn me on.
I swooned over the violence, not realizing how dumb it was.
Steph was the first one to tell me I had a problem with him. That he was mean and dangerous. I hated her for that. I didn’t talk to her for a week.
My first real argument with Kevin, when he said he wanted to smack me, I ran to Poppy.
We had a drink and talked and she did her best to console me.
I powered through logic and told myself it was just an argument.
All couples argued. And they all said stuff they didn’t mean.
Then came the night Kevin broke a picture.
He pulled it right off the wall and smashed it against the dining room table.
I yelled and told him to leave and never come back.
He went out that night, got drunk, got beat up, and woke up the next morning next to some woman in bed.
I had Katie spend the night with me.
Steph showed up too.
She hugged me.
She told me she would always be there for me.
Seeing Kevin all beat up and then crying over sleeping with someone else should have made me run.
It was hard to explain.
Kevin felt like a project to me.
I really thought I could mold him into what I wanted.
