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That makes me sit up a little. For the first time, Greta’s action is not just cruel but illegal. However, this isn’t the time to discuss it with Catie, as she’s still lost in her memories.
“I ran away from home,” she says. “Three times. The first two, I ended up going back because I was so cold. The third time, I stayed out for longer. I met Louise there—she’d been on the streets for a while, and she showed me where the soup kitchens were, and the best places to sleep. One was opposite the hotel where you stayed.” She smiles.
I just stare at her. My heart is thudding like a hollow drum inside me. I knew she’d had it bad, but I hadn’t realized she’d lived on the streets.
“I think I was out there for about ten days. It was in August, so it was freezing. I had my seventeenth birthday during that time. I thought a lot about my life while I was there. I thought seriously about whether I wanted to go on.” She gives me an apologetic look. “I don’t mean to be dramatic. But I thought long and hard about it. I had nothing, and I couldn’t see how that would improve. Louise was a sex worker, and she got some money that way. And… I considered it. It seemed like an easy way to get money. It was the one commodity I had, and Louise said it wasn’t so bad when you got used to it.”
“Jesus.”
I don’t think she hears me. “But in the end, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have any big revelation, no Eureka moment. Nothing like that. Just one day, I thought I’m not going to let life beat me. I’m stronger than this. So I got up and walked home. Greta and the girls were shocked to see me—they thought I’d gone for good. I lived in my room for the next year, only coming out when I left the house. I finished school—I didn’t do great, but I passed Level Three, and I’m really proud of that.”
I think about the private school I went to, and the top-class university education I received. I always had a top-of-the-range laptop, the best books, and new clothes. A brand-new car when I passed my test. Mum and Dad have always tried to teach us not to take our wealth for granted, but it’s impossible not to when you don’t know any different.
She sips her drink. “One thing the school did have was a program where they help you with work placement, and I managed to get a place in an office, typing. I did well enough that when I left school, they offered me a permanent job. The pay wasn’t great, but for the first time I had money of my own. I was still in touch with Louise, and together we managed to get a room in a house, and I was able to move out properly. It wasn’t a great area, and we had hardly any furniture, and not much food, but we managed, and I was so happy to be out of Greta’s house. And that’s where I was living when I met you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Catie
Saxon went quiet some time ago, and I have no idea what’s going through his mind. I can only imagine his horror at the thought that he’s now having twins with me. He’s obviously led an extremely privileged life. I wish I could have kept all this from him. It’s going to change how he views me, and that makes me sad. But he deserves to know what happened to the mother of his children.
Feeling a bit awkward that he hasn’t said anything, I continue, “I used to go to the library in the evenings when Louise was working, because it was bright and warm, and I could use their computers. I was interested in coding, and I taught myself the basics because I enjoyed it. Then one day I saw an advert for web designers and realized I might be able to earn money from it. So I started doing online jobs in the evenings.”
“Did you see Greta and your sisters again?”
“I bumped into them a couple of times just walking through the city. That was one of the reasons I decided I wanted to move to Wellington. I didn’t have good memories of Auckland, and I wanted a fresh start. I hated Trinny, and the house, and seeing people I’d known when I was at my lowest point, both at school and on the streets. So I started saving as much money as I could. It took a long time. Louise and I had to live in the city because neither of us could afford a car or Ubers, and it’s really expensive to rent there.”
“And the day we met was the day before you were due to leave.”
I nod. “I thought it was a good way to begin my new life.” I smile. Then I look down at my hands. “I know what happened is far from ideal, and it’s been a huge shock for you. You’ve been very kind, but I’m sure you’re regretting meeting me. I want you to know, though, that meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’d never met anyone before, especially a man, who made me feel… special. Wanted. You made me feel loved, in the most basic human way.” I rub my nose. “Sorry if that sounds soppy.”
He’s quiet, so I look up at him. His eyes are shining. “I offered you nothing except sex for my own gratification,” he says, puzzled. “I used you, without knowing anything about you. How can you be so gracious?”
“It wasn’t just for your own gratification. You did deliver the three orgasms.” I wrinkle my nose at him.
He doesn’t smile though. He looks genuinely upset. “Catie…”
“I mean it,” I say softly. “I know I’ve buried my head in the sand with the pregnancy, mainly because I was terrified about what I was going to do. But I’m starting to get used to it. I’m still scared.” I rest my hand on my bump. “I know it’s not going to be easy. But I think maybe it might just be amazing, too.”
He studies my face. Then, to my surprise, he puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me against him.
I curl up on the sofa, happy that he’s touching me, and slide my arm around his waist while I rest my cheek on his shoulder.
“You’re not alone anymore,” he says, and kisses the top of my hair.
I swallow hard. I’ll never be able to explain to him how wonderful that night was at the hotel. How I felt when he picked me out of all the girls in the bar. How he made me glow when he told me my hair was beautiful, and that it made him think of a tiger. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before.
“What about relationships?” he asks, resting his head on the back of the sofa, his arm still around me.
“I dated a guy I worked with at the office for a while. Glen. He was my first boyfriend. He was funny, and gentle. But he got a job in Australia and moved only a few months after we met.”
“You didn’t think about going with him?”
“No. It wasn’t that kind of relationship.” Plus, he didn’t ask me. I don’t say that. “There were a few other guys—one I dated for six months, one for a couple, but they didn’t work out. The last one was, um… impolite, shall we say, about my freckles.”
“Motherfucker.”
“You’re the only guy who’s ever really liked my freckles. Anyway, after him I gave up on dating, until I met you.”
