AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m good. You go and sit down, take it easy.” He leans against the opposite wall, facing my door. Further along the corridor, another door opens. He watches a man come out and go down the stairs. Then he pulls out his phone and studies the screen. Saxon’s obviously asked him to be my bodyguard until he shows up. These guys… they just make me want to cry all the time. I think I’m making up for twenty years of no tears.
Quietly, I close the door. I go into the bathroom and look at my reflection. I’m pale and my eyes are red. Whatever Kip says, I can’t believe that Saxon isn’t going to be irritated at least to have to fly back. I know he’s cross that I haven’t been buying much food. If he is as loyal as Kip says, he’s going to feel a duty to look after me. But that doesn’t mean he’ll ever be interested in me as a woman again.
Everyone wants to make sure the babies are okay. But I’ve never felt as lonely and isolated as I do right now. I feel no connection at all with the two people inside me. How can I love them when I’ve never experienced the emotion?
I go into the bedroom, sit on the bed, and lie back. Then I close my eyes.
I lie there until I hear low male voices outside my apartment. I get up, go over to the door, and look through the peephole. The two brothers are talking quietly. Saxon turns then and knocks at the door. “Catie?” he says. “It’s Saxon.”
Taking a deep breath, I open the door.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hello.” He’s wearing jeans and an All Blacks shirt. His hair is ruffled, and he looks tired, but still gorgeous. Even though he and his brother are identical twins, Kip doesn’t make my heart race the way Saxon does. Why is that?
His gaze skims down me, then returns to my face. “Can I come in?”
I hesitate. I know he’s going to berate me. The music from next door is still audible. A loud thump echoes from upstairs, and he glanced up briefly before looking back at me.
“If you want,” I say tiredly, and I go in, leaving him to follow.
“I’ll go down to the car,” Kip says. “Just let me know what you want me to do.”
“It might be a while,” Saxon replies.
“I’m not in any hurry.”
“Thanks, bro, I appreciate it.” Saxon comes in and closes the door.
He stands in the middle of the room, tall, gorgeous, larger than life, and the room feels about a foot square with him in it.
My legs give way, and I sink onto the bed. He pulls the one chair around and sits, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, fingers linked.
“You shouldn’t have flown back,” I say. “I’m okay.”
“Kennedy said you needed me,” he says, “so I came.”
I flush. “Well, you should have checked with me first. I don’t need everyone rushing in to save me. I’m doing just fine on my own.”
Upstairs, there’s a huge bang as someone slams a door, and then a woman yells. I put my face in my hands.
“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” he murmurs. “Kennedy said it was a bit overwhelming.”
I shake my head and rest my hands on the edge of the bed. “I feel such a fraud,” I whisper. “Everyone talks as if this amazing thing is happening, and I just feel so scared. And I’m worried that I…” I bite my lip.
“That you what?”
“That I won’t love the babies. That they won’t love me.” My throat tightens.
“Aw, honey.” He moves the chair closer, although he doesn’t touch me. “That’s not going to happen. You’re hardwired to love them, and they’re hardwired to love you in return. You’re exhausted and frightened, and you haven’t had a chance to develop a connection with them yet. But it’ll come.”
I rub my nose. “Yeah. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right.”
“Sweetheart, you’re the strongest woman I know. You’ve coped amazingly well on your own your whole life. But sometimes you’re allowed to ask for help.”
“I’m fine.”
There’s another crash from upstairs, and Saxon winces.
