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And I do have to. No book is complete without depth, and by its nature, that means the characters have to be layered.
All of the characters. Including the ones modeled after Chase Dawson.
Ugh.
I have to make a flaws list for the most perfect man on the planet’s fictional character.
But before I can do that, before I can let it go, I’m going to have to face the reality that Chase is a rounded person, and even if I find him the most charming in every way, there are things about him that could be considered flaws—or at very least, supply him with a quirk.
Knowing I’ll never be able to stand immortalizing the heinous act of speaking ill of the man of my dreams by typing it into the digital world and saving it as a file, I dig around in my backpack until I find a notebook with some loose-leaf pages to tear out and a nearly inkless pen to scribble on them with.
I write a title at the top of the page to get myself in the spirit.
Chase’s List of Flaws:
I nearly roll my eyes at the obviousness of it all, but ridiculous is as ridiculous does, and forcing myself to break down a man who is probably the best man I’ve ever met for the sake of publishing a book I never wanted published is about as farfetched as it fucking gets.
I groan. Good grief, I don’t want to do this.
And it’s not because it’ll make me think less of him or recognize the parts of him I wouldn’t be in love with if I just considered them harder. I know Chase has flaws; the problem is, I’m pretty sure I find every single one of them endearing.
I don’t want to do it because it makes me think less of me for dragging his innocent soul into this whole mess in the first place.
It’d be one thing if Clive were just a character, but the Lord and I know he’s so much more than that and then some. He is the reincarnation of Chase Dawson, and since I never thought this manuscript would see anyone’s eyes but my own, I didn’t even bother to hide it.
One might wonder how Chase doesn’t see that when reading through his copy, but I get why. It’s the limited sight of our own reflections that’s keeping him from figuring it out himself.
Just like with a mirror, there are parts of ourselves we can’t see. Some are good and some are bad, but when it comes to Chase, I know for a fact that he’s completely missing the parts that show just how great he is.
Maybe they’re taped to his back or strapped to his feet, and he’s only got a half-length mirror, but as far as I’m concerned, he’s one of the finest humans I’ve ever met.
And I’m about to search the depths of my soul to make a list of things that are wrong with him, even though I like everything about him—the good, the bad, and the literature nerd in between.
Ugh.
I take another deep breath in through my nose and let it out through my mouth while I gather myself with a quick crack of my knuckles.
Slowly, ever so gently, I pick up the pen on the table beside my no-frills sheet of loose-leaf paper and count off from number one.
1. Doesn’t understand how handsome he is.
I laugh at myself at first, but I keep trying before getting discouraged, adding, This makes him oblivious to his “pretty privilege” and deaf to the struggles of those without it.
Ughhhh. I really, really hate this.
Still, I push onward.
2. He uses a fake broadcaster-type voice when he’s on the phone with important people to make himself sound more authoritative.
3. He’s pretty fucking pushy about a book that’s ruining my life.
And even though he does it with some of the nicest compliments I’ve ever heard—periodt—it’s still kind of annoying to have someone drag you to the depths of your own personal hell.
4. He forced his way on to this tour with me without asking if I’d be okay with it.
5 He’s so work-minded that sometimes he forgets to have fun.
6. He flirts without thinking of the fallout.
Gah. This is seriously so hard. Just make it to ten, and then we can quit. Just get it over with before he comes back in from the call. Just doooo it, I practically yell at myself. And make them good ones, Brooke. Don’t hold back!
7. He practically martyred himself for this stupid book I didn’t even mean to write.
8. He let his ex walk all over him for a long, long time.
9. He’s arrogant in his ability to make this book what it needs to be.
10. With an ex and a best friend who went behind his back for a year and a half, his judge of character is questionable.
