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He nods. “She did. I don’t understand—”
“You don’t understand why I, your wife, would be angry that you took another woman on a trip I asked you to take me on?” I’m not sure my mate is even from Earth, if he can’t grasp why I’m pissed about that. “I’ve been going out of my mind with boredom here! I could have seen my friends, I could have—”
“Your mortal friends?” Nathan raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, my mortal friends! From when I lived in London! The place where you just went and took another woman!” I can’t believe he thinks he hasn’t done anything wrong. “And not just any woman, one that wants to be queen of this pack! The thing I want to be!”
“And you’re going to be,” he says calmly. “Amber was upset that I married you. I took her on a holiday to apologize.”
“You—” I feel like I’m going to be sick. It’s the same out-of-control, barfy feeling I got around Ashton.
“I’m sorry that you’re disappointed,” Nathan goes on. “But I could hardly take my wife and my mistress on a trip together. And frankly, I have more in common with Amber than I have with you.”
“So, you went on a honeymoon with your girlfriend instead of your wife,” I whisper.
“If that’s the way you wish to see it.”
“The way I…” I can’t look at him. I turn away and focus on the seam between the ceiling and the wall, blinking back tears. You’re not the one in the wrong here. You’re the one who’s been wronged. “Have you ever been around other people before?”
He sputters the beginning of a non-answer.
I talk over him. “Do you have any idea how someone with a functioning sense of empathy works? I’m not asking you to love me. I’m not asking for some great romance. But I’m asking you to not publicly bone down with a woman who literally wants to take my place!”
“Amber doesn’t want to take your place,” he begins.
“Stop saying her name!” I’ve never screamed so hard at another person in my life. I think I’m going to burst a blood vessel in my eye.
“She doesn’t want to take your place,” he says patiently. “She was queen, she was deposed, and she has no desire to return to the position.”
“Bullshit. She couldn’t return to the position and that’s why you’re with me, not her!” He couldn’t have mated the woman he truly wants to be with because she’s a traitor to the pack.
“I don’t want her to be my mate,” he says, maddeningly even-tempered. “She tried to give this pack to New York.”
“And people accuse you of wanting to give Toronto to Greater London, but you’re still running around with a traitor? Do you have any idea how that looks?”
“I’m sorry, is this a political argument, or a relationship argument?” How can he look so tough and imperious without a shirt on? I’m fully dressed, I should be the invulnerable one here, but I feel so small as he continues to speak. “If my relationship outside of our marriage hurts you, I’m sorry for that.”
“But you’re not willing to break it off, are you?” I hate the tremor in my voice.
He slowly shakes his head. “I’m not.”
“I’ll be publicly humiliated,” I point out.
“They’ll think ill of me for it,” Nathan reassures me. “You’ll put on a daring gown and go to parties, pretending you don’t care, and they’ll admire you.”
“But that’s not what I want.” How can I explain to someone who clearly doesn’t have feelings that mine are hurt.
He has feelings. Just not for you.
“Why would you do this?” I ask helplessly. “I don’t understand. The same people who think you’re here as a traitor, they think she’s a traitor, too. You’re not endearing yourself to any of them with these rumors—”
“So, you knew about my affair before you agreed to be my mate.” He states it like it’s a point he’s won.
“I heard rumors,” I reiterate. “That’s all. You never had the decency to tell me, yourself. And let’s not start talking about what I agreed to. I was in a position where I could choose to be your mate, or the mate of a violent man at his lowest, most dangerous point.” My heart crushes in my chest. “You used me against him to make a point, and then you almost lost me to him, anyway. You didn’t care what would happen to me.”
“That’s not true!” For the first time in the entire conversation, Nathan raises his voice. “I didn’t want to see you with him. I knew you’d be miserable, and I knew you didn’t deserve it. I knew he didn’t deserve you.”
“But you do?” I scoff. “If you’re so fucking deserving, if you value me so much more, why did you take your girlfriend on a trip days after our mating ceremony? Why don’t you ever talk to me, or spend any time getting to know me?”
