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Hoping.
Praying.
That maybe he felt the same way I did.
All of this was just making me feel closer to him, I wanted to be with him now more than ever. It was as if his dark side was luring me in, the pull he had on me was palpable, and I could no longer resist my feelings for him. The longer I lay there, the further I realized this was where I belonged.
With him.
In his bed, falling asleep next to him every night, and waking up to him every morning. I didn’t want to be alone anymore, and a huge part of me knew he didn’t either.
My fingers glided along the sheets, feeling the soft fabric under my touch. Careful not to wake him, I scooted my body up to lay next to his as I finally felt at peace with his presence beside me.
His breathing was calming, calling out for me to touch him.
It all happened so fast, exactly the way everything had since the night he killed Deacon. I decided it was time for me to return the favor, surprising him with a blow job to see what kind of effect I had on him.
One minute, my hand was in the air, reaching to pull away the waistband of his gym shorts, but the instant I softly touched the edge, he roughly flipped me onto my back with his hand over my neck.
I gasped loudly, caught off guard and taken by surprise.
However, that wasn’t the worst part.
This was minimal compared to the gun suddenly pressed to the side of my head, right on my temple. His body hovered on top of mine, his heavy weight laying directly on top of my small frame. His face was inches away from mine as he opened his dark, dilated eyes that were vacant of any life.
My chest heaved.
My breath quickened.
My heart hammered out of my chest.
Jace didn’t remove his hold or his gun as he glared at me with something I couldn’t place in his murderous stare. Once again, it was like he was there with me, but at the same time, he was somewhere else entirely.
It didn’t stop the emotions from pouring out of me and onto the sheets behind my body. They tethered between us. I felt as if I saw his past and present colliding with a force brought on by me. Nothing of what I thought would happen did.
Not one fucking thing.
The truth lay on top of the chaos he created in my mind. The pieces of his puzzle held so many unanswered questions which still loomed in the distance between us.
My heart was breaking for him.
Except this time, I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. His demons were pulling me under, dragging me further into the ground and the hell he created for himself. His truths were burning me alive and at the stake.
I was trying to save him, and for the first time, I understood that maybe he was trying not to destroy me in the process. Through the soft lighting of the moon, darkness fell over us through the curtains that were slightly opened.
In a moment of weakness, I surrendered to the power he had over me, and I wasn’t talking about his current hold on my throat.
I was the first to break the connection between us, fixing my stare to the gun at my temple.
“Do you want me to fucking kill you, Cove?”
My trembling hands fisted the sheets. There was so much I wanted to say, and I kept opening my mouth, only to close it several times, not knowing what would come out.
I didn’t know where to start or where we stood.
My lips were swollen from sleep while my face was flushed, sweat glistened down the sides of my temples. I feared he was going to hurt me more than he already had at this point.
Never breaking our intense stare, he slowly started sliding his gun down the side of my face, my neck, and stopping on my chest, over my heart.
My breathing hitched.
“What did you think would happen if you woke me up like that?”
My mouth shut, swallowing hard as I licked my lips.
“After everything you’ve learned about me these past few days. Do you think I’m the man you take by surprise? No matter where I am, I sleep with a gun in my grasp under my pillow. I’m trained to kill, Cove. So I’ll ask you again…” He didn’t waver, speaking with conviction…
“Do you want me to hurt you?”
Twenty-One
Cove
Nothing about his confession surprised me. Nothing about the feelings I had for him did either. I was finally in his arms, feeling his skin against mine, loving the way he was looking at me. My mind had been spiraling out of control all day, and this only added to the tsunami of emotions coursing through me.
