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The stranger who was helping us was suddenly above me. “Here, man!!” He threw off his shirt, hanging it to me.
Without hesitation, I grabbed it and applied as much pressure as I could next to her heart. I struggled to keep my shit together, but my sanity, my heart, every last part of me shattered around us, mixing in with her blood.
She was coughing.
Wheezing.
Her body seized uncontrollably with every forced breath that escaped her lips.
“Cove… stay with me… just stay with me… listen to my voice… stay with my voice… okay?” I coaxed with trembling lips and unsteady eyes and composure.
My body shook just as badly as hers was.
“It’s okay. You’re going to be just fine, bunny. Do you hear me? You’re going to be fine. The ambulance is coming. You need to stay with me. Please just stay with me.” I sucked in air with my desperation. “Just look at me, Cove. I’m right here. I’m right fucking here with you, and I’m not going anywhere. Please… please don’t do this to me… I’m begging you…”
Her fluttering eyes suddenly trapped my gaze. She showed me how much she did in fact love me. For the first time in what felt like forever, tears fell out of my eyes, and I prayed…
“Please, God… please don’t do this to me… please…” I shook, shuddering, my voice breaking.
“Jace… am… I… dying?”
“Shhh… save your breath.” Unable to hold back the fear in my voice, I ordered, “You stay with me! Do you hear me? Do you understand me? You fucking stay with me, Cove!”
She whimpered in pain as I held her petite frame, which seemed smaller at that moment.
Tighter.
Harder.
I provided the only comfort I could.
With my words.
My touch.
My entire being was dying right along with her.
“You’re tough, Cove. You’ve always been a strong woman.”
She sucked in air that wasn’t available for the taking.
“You fight! You fucking fight for me! For us! You’re my family, bunny. You’ve always been my family.”
She sluggishly nodded. “Pleassse… telllll themmm I love themmm…”
“I don’t have to tell them! You will! You’re going to be fine. I promise you. Please fight for me!”
The stranger informed, “They’re a minute away.”
I nodded, never taking my eyes off her. “I can’t lose you. Do you hear me, Cove? I can’t fucking lose you too!”
My tears fell on her face.
Our pain mixed as one, entwined through the past and present.
The good, the bad.
My darkness, her light.
I shut my eyes, choking back the sobs but opening them just as quickly, not wanting to miss a second with her.
With us.
“I… loveee… youuuu… G.I. Joeeee…”
“No! No! No! Don’t you do this! Don’t you say goodbye to me! This is not goodbye! Not like this! Don’t you leave me! Don’t you dare fucking leave me! I won’t be able to survive it this time! I won’t!”
Heart-wrenching sobs escaped my throat, the kind I didn’t know existed, feeling as though I was bleeding tears. I held her closer to my heart, hoping she’d hear it beating for her.
“Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you hear me?”
I broke down, my chest locking up, hyperventilating from bawling so fucking hard. My eyes blurred with tears, barely allowing me to see her beautiful face as my lungs caved in on me. I was suffocating in her.
In everything she ever meant to me.
“I’m begging you… don’t leave me…”
My chest heaved, rising and falling with each rigid breath, with each beat of my heart, with each word that escaped my lips. I held her, trying to hold on to our lives together, to our memories, to the future I wanted with her more than anything.
I had to shut my eyes.
My chest burned so badly.
I didn’t know if I could ever breathe again.
Her body started to convulse. This time worse than before. Blood gurgled out of her mouth, slowly drowning in her distress while her eyes fluttered to remain open and maintain her focus on me and my distress.
“NOOOOOO! Look at me, bunny! Look at me, Cove! Don’t close your eyes! Please don’t close your eyes! You need to stay with me. Please, Cove! Just fucking stay with me!”
It felt as if her end was near, and another one of my worst fucking nightmares was about to come true. Her eyes began to roll to the back of her head while a terrified expression marred her beautiful face.
I feared for everything at that moment, but mostly, I feared for the life we might never have together.
“Oh God! No! Please, God, no! Please! Don’t do this to me!” I gripped the back of her neck and got right in her face. “Look at me! Fucking look at me, Cove!”
She did with hazy, distant eyes.
I didn’t hesitate to tell her the truth.
All of my truths.
“I love you, Cove! I fucking love you! I’m yours! Do you hear me? Can you feel me? I love you with every last part of me. Please… please… don’t do this to me… Fight for me… fight for us… fight for my family…”
