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Yep, that was it, but it had them both nodding and smiling at me like I was a good boy.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Had to stay big in Starbucks.
Reminding myself of that several times, I took a sip of my coffee and used the bitter flavor and the rush of caffeine to stay in a grown-up headspace. Coffee was for grown-ups. I was a grown-up. No little time in Starbucks because the baristas were always interesting enough that they noticed.
It was kind of awkward.
Okay, big time.
Big time but not sexy talk time.
I had to be able to talk.
“I’m green, but should we call my complex to see if we can tour the unit?” That was definitely easier to talk about…and I’d told them I was green.
Yay me.
Now I just had to pray we were done with the diaper and orgasm talk.
Done for now, at least.
Later was a different story altogether.
Chapter 10
Bishop
“I’m doing my best not to ask you if you feel unwelcome or if you think I’m chasing you out.” Wesley’s worried face looked up at me from the floor where he’d flopped down dramatically. “I know that’s not a healthy way to see this.”
No, it wasn’t.
“What would your therapist say?” My question had him sighing and pouting up at me.
I was trying not to laugh when he stuck his tongue out at me. “You’re so mean.”
Climbing off the bed where I’d been trying to show him pictures of my new apartment, I sat down beside him. “Think of it this way. Now you get to have loud monkey sex again without worrying if I can hear it.”
Because I could.
He was loud for someone who was usually so shy.
Groaning, Wesley scrubbed his hands over his face and huffed. He seemed like he’d decided that staying hidden was the best idea because he just left his hands there for several long moments. “You’re evil.”
“That’s why you love me, though.” He needed some spice in his life. “Besides. You like having a quiet house and I’m excited to make this permanent. We’ll still see each other so much I’ll drive you insane.”
Wesley flashed me a smile before it faded into a more serious expression again. “You’re sure this is what you want? It feels…impulsive, maybe? I’m not saying anything about Ian and Cohen…just everything, I guess?”
He wasn’t exactly wrong, but it felt right, so I didn’t have a good response.
“I’ve been miserable back home. Nothing felt right and work sucked and talking to you and Archer has been the best thing about my week.” And that was ridiculous. “I like being here. I like the friends I’m making at Leashes & Lace and I like the area in general. I’ve even made friends with real people as I’ve been exploring everything.”
They had some weird coffee shops in this city.
Shrugging, I leaned back against the bed and tried to figure out how to explain everything going through my head. “This just feels right.”
However, I wasn’t naïve.
“But look at it this way. I’m only renting and if my relationships fall apart and I end up hating it here, it’s going to be easy to pick up and move again. I should’ve changed my life before this, but I didn’t know where to go.” I’d just felt stuck.
“Having too many places to go is almost as bad as not having anywhere to go.” Wesley took the words right out of my mouth, so I nodded, glad he understood.
“But I’m happy now. I’ve got a cute apartment near Ian and I’m going to look for a job soon. This feels right.” For the most part.
“But…” Wesley sat up, turning to sit cross-legged. “There was a but…I could hear it in your voice.”
Having a friend who’d known me for years sucked sometimes.
“But I don’t know how to take things to the next level with Ian and Cohen.” That sounded vague and ridiculous, so I tried again. “We’re talking and hanging out and I have to confess the apartment hunting was funny, but now what?”
He blinked, then cocked his head to study me before a light bulb went off. “Oh, your relationships have always exploded before this point or just took forever to slowly die.”
“Yep.” Pulling my knees up, I leaned over and rested my head on my hands, aiming for helpless and cute.
“Now what? It’s not exploding, so…” I finally shrugged and pouted. “I don’t really want to admit to either of them that my relationships have never really gotten this far. I mean, they’re actually nice people and we communicate and we go out to dinner. I love hanging out with Ian’s little side and Cohen loves my pup…”
I was back to just looking helpless again.
My only list of now we should do this consisted of showing Ian my pup at some point, getting my little cutie in his diapers, and wanting more pup time with Cohen. But I was pretty sure there were other things I should want, and I knew Ian was ready to take things to the next level physically.
