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“You know, if Daddy thinks these are better than cookies, we’ll have to get the ones with icing.” Cohen’s whisper carried through the room almost as loud as Ian’s giggles. “They make chocolate ones too.”
Rolling my eyes, I vowed to find some healthier versions if they were going to keep sneaking cookies every time they went grocery shopping.
They had to make some that weren’t complete crap, right?
As they giggled and plotted, I realized that’d been Cohen’s plan all along. We were all going to have to move in together just to make sure they ate something besides hamburgers and cookies.
He was an evil genius on par with Eli, but I was going to keep that quiet so he didn’t know I was on to him.
Mostly because he was so cute I’d end up moving in anyway.
He was very hard to resist when he was talking to stuffed animals and promising Ian junk food when I wasn’t looking.
As Ian giggled at Cohen’s terrible whispers and munched on his snack, he slowly got more still and wiggled before looking around. I thought he wanted the bottle when his eyes landed on it, but it took him a minute for the gimme fingers to come out.
Water was a hard decision sometimes?
Cohen found it cute for some reason and kissed Ian’s cheek as he picked up the bottle and asked if Ian wanted me or him to give him his bottle.
It was a hard decision too for some reason, but after a moment of looking back and forth and then grabbing the last animal cookie, he climbed down into my lap. I was confused but took the bottle from Cohen as he smiled mysteriously and turned on cartoons for Ian.
As we watched dogs zooming around saving the day, Ian curled into me and slowly started sucking on his bottle.
I’d admit…I was a bit slow on the uptake, but eventually it clicked.
Yep.
The diaper.
I wasn’t completely hopeless, thank goodness.
But after my short-lived pat on the back, I started to wonder if I needed to make it clear I was all right with it or if our previous conversations had been enough. What if he thought my clueless reaction was something negative? What if he was waiting for me to say something?
Was there a right way to tell a little they could use their diaper?
I really should’ve thought this project through a bit more before I’d gotten it out, but he’d been so little and exhausted it’d just felt right.
I was going to have to remember that going with my gut was dangerous.
For the time being, though, I kissed his head and realized that if Cohen didn’t start whispering directions, I should probably just tough it out and give my best confident Daddy impression.
Cohen wouldn’t let me fuck this up.
Keeping that in mind, I leaned back against the couch and kissed Ian’s head as I fed him his bottle. At about half-empty, he started shifting a bit before going very still. When we got to about three-quarters empty, he was mostly playing with it as he wiggled.
We’d figured out the right combination of random giggles and one, two, threes for him to let me know he was going to use the bathroom, so I didn’t push him. I waited and cuddled and waited and ignored the silly grin Cohen got every time he looked down at us.
Eventually, something changed and he started drinking again, relaxing as he watched the show. I was quicker on the uptake this time and realized that meant I should probably look down at the diaper.
What could I say?
I was sweet, not bright.
I was learning, though, and yep, he needed to be changed. Luckily, the show was almost over and I didn’t have to decide how I was going to make him walk away before they’d saved the day.
That sounded stressful.
Just as we got to the point where everyone was happy, Cohen turned off the TV and saved the day for me. “How about a bubble bath?”
Oh.
That was brilliant.
Ian’s head perked up and he nodded, giving gimme fingers to the binkie now that he was done with his water. As Cohen handed it over, Ian giggled and threw his hands wide. “Three.”
Cohen cocked his head and gave me a questioning look.
At least I was a very reliable translator.
“Lots of bubbles.” I gave the giggly boy a firm stare. “I’m not sure I like how big that three was, though.”
Ian thought that was one of the funniest things he’d ever heard and jumped up as he laughed, pulling my hands. “Zoom.”
The binkie muffled the word, but it was obvious that we were going too slow.
So we zoomed to the bathroom, which also had entirely too many toys…and there were three different types of bubbles. “Really?”
As Cohen started stripping Ian as the water filled, I looked deeper under the cabinet and shook my head. “Three?”
