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He smirked down at her, asking, “Have I fucked you speechless, majamira?”

“Shut up.” She tried pushing him away, but he only laughed and hauled her close, and tears pricked her eyes when she felt his lips graze the top of her head in a tender gesture.

I love you.

The words begged to tumble past her lips, but she forced them down, knowing she had no right to say them.

It had been eight months since she had become his lover, five months since she had forced the sheikh to turn his back on the woman he still loved just when she needed him the most. And even until now, the truth of this hadn’t stopped hurting.

Every once in a while, there would be news about Jacob Bauer’s ongoing trial and house arrest as well as sightings of an increasingly miserable-looking Mrs. B., who had since taken a leave of absence from work to spare the school from the media attention.

Even though she and Rayyan had never spoken about Hyacinth’s former teacher again, she knew he was aware of Mrs. B.’s situation – just as she also knew that he blamed her for his inability to help the other woman. Rayyan had never said so, but she knew he did – how could she not when she hated herself for the same thing?

Every night, she prayed and wished for a way to say sorry for being such a bitch. Every night, she lay sleepless in her bed, trying to think of a way to make things better without having to let him go – but there was none.

And because love always turned into a tightrope when resentment festered and secrets remained unspoken, Hyacinth knew something would eventually have to give.

And so it did.

Once all guests had left, she made her way to the sheikh’s office and was surprised to find Gadi hurrying inside, an anxious look on the assistant’s face. She caught up to him just as he barreled into the sheikh, who then helped Gadi regain his balance with a concerned frown.

“Are you alright?”

“It’s Mrs. Bauer, alshaykh. I just received a call from Aisha.”

Hyacinth jerked at the mention of Aisha’s name, knowing right away that the sheikh had the undercover agent keep tabs on Mrs. B. But that’s okay, she told herself firmly. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It doesn’t.

“Mr. Bauer has killed himself.”

Rayyan could feel himself turning white. “But there’s something more, isn’t there?”

“Before overdosing, he...” Gadi’s voice faltered as he tried to find the best words to describe the gruesome manner in which the man had tortured his wife.

“Just say it, dammit.”

“Mrs. Bauer is currently in the ICU, and she might...she might never be able to walk again.”

Hyacinth turned cold. Oh God. No. Oh God. No. No. No. She turned to Rayyan, desperate to assure him that she would never even think of keeping him from Mrs. B.’s side, that he could take as much time as he needed, that she would do everything to help –

But when she saw the look in his eyes, all words died in her throat.

“Don’t.” His voice was low and savage. “Don’t even think of saying one goddamn word. Don’t make me hate you more than I already despise myself.”

And then he was walking away.

She crumpled to her knees.

She wanted to cry out, but she couldn’t.

She didn’t deserve to.

This was her punishment.

Twenty

Killing two birds with one stone isn’t being a bitch. Hyacinth repeated the words over and over in hopes of convincing herself, but guilt was a tremendously powerful foe, and she felt like she had lost all right to look at herself in the mirror as she slowly typed a text to Rayyan, asking him for Sheikh Tarif’s number.

Months had passed since Kyria’s wedding and Jacob Bauer’s suicide, and much had changed. Kyria was now pregnant, Mrs. B. was in therapy, and she was still stuck in relationship limbo, sentenced to a purgatory of perfunctory nods of greeting whenever she bumped into Rayyan in the palace, memories of his lovemaking to cry over, and secret vigils of penance as she prayed one hour each day in the chapel to pay for her sins.

If the sheikh had once used the palace’s secret backdoor entrance to slip out and participate in dangerous police raids, Rayyan now employed the same strategy to keep Cecile Bauer company and personally oversee her therapy.

Right now, it was going as well as one could hope, with the older woman able to stand on her own feet. Or at least it was so according to Aisha, whom Rayyan had instructed to keep Hyacinth updated about Mrs. B.’s progress.

After pressing Send, she found herself holding her breath, waiting and hoping that maybe with this, he would take the olive branch she offered him and things could start getting back to normal.

She stared at her phone, willing it to vibrate and display the sheikh’s name.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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