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Marwan shot her another mutinous glare in response, but she told herself that was just his way of saying welcome. Turning away, she picked her skirt up to make sure she didn’t trip on her three-inch heels on their way down from the stage.
But when she looked up, she realized that wish of hers was wasted.
Rayyan was standing at the bottom step, looking heartbreakingly dashing in a black tux, and in the act of stepping down, Hyacinth forgot what she was doing, and she started to fall.
“Gotcha.”
His low whisper as he caught her in his arms was too much, reminding her of the last time he had said that, and things were still too good to be true.
Her eyes started to sting, causing Hyacinth to keep her head bowed even as he helped her straighten up. “What are you doing here?” she muttered.
Cupping her elbow, he led her backstage, his footsteps so damn slow it was almost like he wanted the moment to last.
Oh, if only.
But she knew that was another pointless wish.
She tried to pull away as soon as they made it backstage, but his hold on her elbow only tightened in warning, and with so many curious eyes trained on them, Hyacinth knew better than to cause a scene.
The sheikh brought her to the dressing room she had shared with Marwan, and she was relieved to find it empty.
Rayyan’s lip curled at seeing the relief in her eyes. “I take it you don’t intend to introduce your co-host to me?”
Instead of answering him, she asked again, “What are you doing here?”
“Am I no longer allowed to wish you well?”
You chose another woman over me, asshole, she thought, so no, that doesn’t give you any rights at all in my book.
A moment later, she heard his soft chuckle, and this surprised her enough to glance up, just in time to see his lips twist ever so slightly in a smile of self-derision, like he thought himself the butt of his own joke.
“I heard you loud and clear, majamira.”
“Don’t call me that,” she said automatically, “and I didn’t say a thing.”
“I know.” The smile widened, the self-derision turning into something else, and pain pinched her chest. “And like I said, I heard you loud and clear.”
Hyacinth’s teeth gnashed hard at the effort not to let the tears fall. Damn him. God damn him. Goddamn him to hell.
“You look beautiful,” Rayyan said quietly.
“Stop trying to charm me, damn you.”
“Because it no longer works?”
She almost, almost laughed. Was he fucking serious? “La, alshaykh.” No, sheikh. “I’m saying you shouldn’t bother because it’s pointless.” Because you’re still with her - aren’t you?
Rayyan’s fist clenched and unclenched against his side at the glassy look in her eyes.
“I’ll ask you again,” she whispered.
“Hyacinth—-”
“Why are you here?”
“Because I didn’t think you’d leave just like that,” he grated out.
“I told you I was leaving—-”
“I thought you meant me, not the fucking kingdom!”
“What difference does it make?”
“It makes a hell of a difference,” he snarled.
“Because you want to have your fucking cake and eat it, too?” she snarled back at him.
“No, dammit—-”
“But it’s exactly like that,” she cried out, “and you know it.” She gazed at him helplessly, loving and hating him, knowing that she could never live without him but also knowing she had find a way to do so.
“I couldn’t stay, Rayyan. I just couldn’t. I didn’t like the person I became, and it just got worse and worse and—-”
“Stop it.” He gripped her shoulders, unable to bear the self-hatred in her eyes. “Just come back—-”
“And...her?”
His grip tightened. “I never...it’s not like that between us.”
“But it will be—-”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“I do,” she whispered, “but Rayyan...can’t it also just be...me?” Swallowing hard, she forced herself to say the things she had always wished she could tell him. “I knew I was wrong, when I told you to turn your back on her—-”
His hands dropped away from her shoulders, and she wanted to cry.
“It was selfish and it was evil—-”
“It’s water under the bridge now,” Rayyan said tightly.
“But it’s not,” she choked out, “because a part of you still hates me for it.”
“Hyacinth—-”
“And that’s fine. That’s fine. Because it was a stupidly hateful thing to do, and it’s no excuse, but the only reason I did it was because I was just so scared if I let you spend more time with her, you’d realize she was better for you—-”
“I said it was over,” he gritted out.
“If it’s really over, then just say it! Say it! You hated me—-” Hyacinth’s voice broke, and she jumped back when the sheikh swung away from her and his fist struck the wall.
“R-Rayyan—-”
When he pulled his fist away, his knuckles were bleeding, and she paled.
“Oh God.”
She tried to take a step towards him but froze at the look on his face.
“I did hate you. You were perfect in my eyes, and I didn’t even know I had you on a fucking pedestal until you came crashing down and forced me to ignore her cries for her help when she needed me.”
