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“Yes and no. I think a lot of us have wildly different approaches to the puzzle, so we wouldn’t be a good fit. Add to that, some of these people are greedy motherfuckers and they want the pot all to themselves, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them might try to sabotage someone else, if you let them get too close. That said, I’ve tried several times to team up with people, but nobody’s been interested. So, whatever. I’ll figure it out by myself and take the whole prize, if that’s how they want to play it.” Henn exhales. “To be honest, I’m not sure anyone can solve this fucker, whether it’s one brain working alone or fifty brains working together. I can’t go into detail, but solving this puzzle is the toughest thing I’ve ever tried to do. If I don’t figure it out by Jonas and Sarah’s wedding, I think maybe I’ll throw in the towel.”
“Oh, honey. Just do your best. That’s all you can do. The main thing is you’re giving it your all. That way, you won’t have regrets later on, no matter what happens.”
“That’s exactly what’s kept me going—telling myself I have to keep going until I’ve exhausted every fucking idea, even the stupid ones, so I have zero regrets. Plus, I’m pretty incentivized to get the money and buy an amazing house that’ll lure you to LA on a bullet train.”
“Oh, Henny.” My heart squeezes. “You don’t need a big, fancy house to tempt me to move to LA. That’s not the thing I’m waiting on to figure things out.”
“Just saying, it’s a good motivator for me when I’m feeling down.”
“Have you been able to talk to your therapist while you’ve been there?”
“No. Maybe I should.”
“You can talk over video, right?”
“Yeah. I’ll make an appointment. Thanks for the idea.”
“And you know I’m always here to talk anytime, too.”
“Thanks. I’m doing okay. I’m just really frustrated. Also, lonely and missing you so much I’m in physical pain.”
“Oh, sweetie. I miss you, too. So, so much. When I see you in three weeks, I’m going to physically consume you.”
Henn laughs. “Sounds like heaven. Are we still FaceTiming tonight, even though we’ve already talked today? I’d love to see your face before I fall asleep.”
“Of course.” I smirk. “Actually, if you’d like, I’ll let you see a whole lot more than my face tonight. Do you have any interest in giving FaceTime sex a whirl tonight, Peter the Great?”
“Fuck yes! Woohoo!”
“Make sure you’ve got lube and tissues at the ready,” I say. “Because it’s gonna be hawt.”
Henn laughs. “And just like that, I don’t think I need that therapy session anymore.”
22
HENN
“Hey, gorgeous,” I say softly, when Hannah’s smiling face appears on my screen. Damn. My heart is already thumping. Anticipation, skating across my skin and sending heat across my cheeks. Ever since Hannah suggested we attempt FaceTime sex during tonight’s regular call, I’ve barely been able to think of anything else. To say I’m excited is an understatement. Even so, I’m consciously trying to keep my face neutral as I greet Hannah, just in case she’s changed her mind since this afternoon. The last thing I’d ever want to do is pressure Hannah into doing anything she’s not genuinely comfortable with, simply to please me.
“Hey, handsome,” Hannah replies with a coy smile. “I could barely concentrate on my work this afternoon after our conversation earlier. Are you still game to get a little frisky with me?”
“Indubitably. You?”
“Indubitably.”
A wave of excitement rumbles through me, but I project calm as I say, “Cool.”
Hannah’s lying in her bed in Seattle, dressed in cute plaid pajamas. I’m lying in my hotel bed in DC, dressed in sweatpants and no shirt. I’m not nearly as predictable as Hannah in terms of my location and clothing during our nightly calls. But still, this isn’t an atypical set-up. And yet, tonight, everything about this moment feels extraordinary to me. Unpredictable and exciting, like anything could happen.
“Could you take the lead?” Hannah says shyly.
I’m pretty sure I’ve told Hannah I’ve never done this before, either. So, I’m not sure I’m qualified to lead the charge here, any more than she is. But, of course, I try to project nothing but relaxed confidence. “Of course, I’ll take the lead,” I reply. “As best I can, anyway.” When she nods and exhales, I add, “We’ll go slow. Speak up, okay? Let me know if you’re not feeling something.”
“I will. You, too.”
“Hard to imagine, but okay.” I smile and pause, unsure how we’re supposed to get from this stilted awkwardness to mutual masturbation. In person, I’d touch her now. Kiss her. I’d strip off her clothes and caress her bare curves. Devour her breasts and nipples and stroke between her legs while whispering how beautiful she is. How sexy and hot. And then I’d forge ahead with third and fourth base. But how the fuck are two FaceTime-sex-newbs supposed to go straight to virtual fourth base without the benefit of touching and kissing? Suddenly, based on the way Hannah is staring at me, I feel like I’ve been silent for too long. “Sorry,” I say on an exhale. “This feels a bit like the blind leading the blind.”
